From a comment on one of my fitness articles:
“If you want a certain physique, you’ll have to need it for some reason. I, for instance, love to sail. But to lift those halyards, I NEED to build muscles. I enjoy playing tennis, so I NEED to build endurance and explosive speed. I enjoy hiking, so I NEED to build stamina. Going to a gym because I WANT to look good or stay healthy isn’t going to last. No one has passion for work alone.”
When I first read that comment, I thought it wise.
But I’ve been exercising daily for more than a year and a half now and I found myself thinking about this comment again, especially the last sentence.
And I think I disagree now.*
Having passion for work alone might be the ultimate goal of all because the work is the only thing that is really, truly yours.
You’re entitled only to your labor. You’re not entitled to the fruit of your labor. The universe guarantees no results.
I work out because I like the way I feel after I work out and more than occasionally, I like the way I feel while I’m working out. The blood rushes through me and my heart pumps and my muscles are talking and life is alive.
The only time I don’t like working out is, often, before I work out. I hear the thought I just don’t feel like it and bristle at the idea of not having control and not doing what I want.
But the more I work out, the shorter that negative anticipation time is. Now, the only time I don’t like working out is right before I work out. I lay down my mat as soon as I wake up, so I’ve earned that “right.” It’s a small word, but it a makes a big difference. It minimizes the unpleasant amount of time.
I like working out, except before I work out.
versus
I like working out, except right before I work out.
And as soon as I start moving, I usually realize that I love working out. Why do I have to keep learning this lesson over and over again?
It’s the habit that’s important. Working out, writing, whatever habit you want to instill.
I remember finishing my book and basking in the moment for, well, a moment, and then immediately feeling unmoored and off. Now what? I thought the accomplishment and pride would tide me over longer.
Honestly, after spending so much time thinking about, writing, editing and managing the various people involved, running across the finish line and hoisting my trophy in the air felt anticlimactic.
I wrote a book. So what?
That’s the best and worst thing about being human. We always want more.
I think this is what everyone means when they say that it’s the process and not the destination. Use the goals to build up your habits and not as the end all and be all. We humans tend to overestimate our satisfaction from obtaining a shiny new goal.
You’re entitled to your labor. You’re not entitled to the fruit of your labor. Even if the work doesn’t sell, find joy in the toiling. You’re winning life because you’re winning a lot of moments.
Eventually, I started writing daily again and moored myself. Writing a book creates the writing habit that you have to tend to. It’s the habit that’s important because without constant reassurance, everything dies.
And, I’m happy to say, it’s the habit you can control and the outcome that you can’t, so that’s where your attention makes the most sense.
*Did I just set up a strawman argument?
Stringray maybe…
Yes, I agree. Apparently, I don’t know animals.
The title of this post made me think you are doing a book review of the Bhagavat Gita this time.
I read that as a kid, but don’t remember it. If it has wisdom like this title, maybe it’s one to put on my to-read list.
As an Indian, I would like to believe, all these truths or essence of life was given by Gita long long ago even when man was still in the process of converting from animal…
Love the thought process. I remember enjoying exercising, it has been a while :). Also, the connection to writing is pretty solid. Instead of writing one book you build a writer’s career by building a writing habit not aim for a ‘one hit wonder’ that is rare
I’ve found that it’s so easy to fall off the wagon (2 days is all it takes before I forget the joys of working out) and it takes about five days of consistent working out before I’m back on the wagon completely and securely and that’s when I start loving the work out.
“I like working out, except before I work out.”
Ha, love it. I’m the same. I’ll get my running shoes on and all ready, then check my computer again because *stall. And oohhh, there’s an article I want to read, it’ll only take 3 minutes, I can wait 3 more minutes. It’s natural to stall I guess. But I always feel good after I’m done working out, and often during.
“You’re entitled to your labor. You’re not entitled to the fruit of your labor.” — That might be the most brilliant thing I have ever read! It’s all about action, not necessarily outcome. Control your actions, ’cause you can’t control the results. You are so wise!
Have you read Mark Manson’s essay “The Most Important Question of Your Life” (https://markmanson.net/question)? I think you might like it! It touches on a similar – though not exact – theme as your post.
I like Mark Manson. Thanks for linking this and I’m glad you like this phrase, too. I say it to myself a lot!
I’ll lay in bed negotiating with myself. Like, why? How many times do I have to keep learning this lesson? Working out is wonderful.
I agree with every word of this post except for the squid that’s a manta ray.
Okay, I think you’re right. It *could* be an airplane with feelings.
I like that interpretation best.
The only reason I think I may be wrong is because all the other towels designs were animals.
Wonderfully insightful–from both of you!
So the straw man argument is also insightful? Interesting.
I loved this so much. I struggle constantly with the “now what?”. Finding joy in the toil, being present in the moment has been an ongoing challenge. So these words from you are just what I needed to hear. Thank you!
I say this phrase to myself every single day to remind myself or when I’m looking at my book sales or when I’m writing. The joy is in the doing! I’m entitled to my labor. I’m glad it helps you, too. 🙂
I love this post! I would love to notice every day, a reminder that it really is the journey. I especially enjoyed your description of how you are so aware of your body’s experience of the workout….blood rushing, heart pumping, muscles alive. 😄
The muscle mind connection might be the secret of life. I feel so much better after I can talk to my muscles and when my body is happy. The difference is stark.
Thanks for another timely dose of inspiration! I’m currently working through a season of those unmoored feelings so this resonated deeply for me.
Your comment about being entitled only to your labor reminded me of one of the handful of Stephen Crane poems I’ve been unable to forget.
A man said to the universe:
“Sir, I exist!”
“However,” replied the universe,
“The fact has not created in me
A sense of obligation.”
Oh man, I love that!
It’s not just exercise…. I don’t know if this is a purely Western phenomenon, because I haven’t been exposed long enough to other cultures (something I plan to fix). However, for sure in the West, we are ridiculously over concerned with outcome based activities and goals. As a result, people are less happy than ever before. At least, this is an opinion I’ve been preaching for awhile.
True contentment comes from enjoying the process, not the outcome. This is why I think SMART goals are super unsmart. They make the process of trying to obtain a goal too overly structured and place all importance on the outcome.
I still like SMART goals, but I get what you’re saying and think you very wise. 🙂
This and “you should do your job so well noone knows what you are doing until you are gone” are the 2 quotes i live by. Mostly when tasked with something very difficult or something noone else wants to do I use them to rationalize that the sooner I get the task done the sooner i can move on and not even worry about the lasting effects my work can contribute.
Ive been reading this book by David Goggins called You Cant Hurt Me and its all about pushing past the 40% limitation most people put on themselves. Hes kind of a hardass.
Thanks for the book recommendation!