Have you seen Brad’s Status? Yeah, I had never heard of it either before I saw it. It’s a movie starring Ben Stiller and, since it’s my policy to always say yes to people who ask me to do things when I’m free, I ended up seeing it in the theater.
Our protagonist, Brad, lives with his wife and son in an upper middle class home in Sacramento. They have good jobs, a good marriage, and a pleasant son. Their world remains unmarred by tragedy or even bad luck. Dad and son are touring colleges on the east coast. Through constant monologue, we hear every thought inside dad’s head. Despite everything they have, he’s still unsatisfied.
I’m still impressed by my speed.
My favorite scene is where he whines about his life to his son’s classmate, Ananya. She delivers some fantastic truths.
“You’re 50 years old and still think the world was made for you.”
(Paraphrasing)
“You’re whining about not getting invited to a dinner party. There are people who are just happy to get dinner.”
“Yeah, but I’m not competing against them.
“Why are you competing against anyone?”
If you try, of course you are going to find something to complain about. You’re going to find someone who is more successful than you, richer and more powerful, happier and living a better and more enriching life.
At least from the outside.
Why are you looking at them? Really. There are so many other things to look at. The only person you should be competing against is your past self. Are you doing better than you were a year ago? Better than you were yesterday? Focus on that.
One more truth bomb from Ananya.
“Trust me. I promise you. You have enough.”
Don’t underestimate the power of enough and being grateful for what you have. Knowing what’s enough for you and celebrating having enough is the key to happiness. Or at least, a groove in the key to happiness.
I wrote this article over a year ago and never published it, so I apologize for the dated reference. I have a hard time deciding what is good enough for your eyes. I’m still not sure about this post.
I really enjoy reading your take on life and finances. Maybe don’t wait a year next time 🙂
The tough bit is knowing what enough is.
The tough bit is also the fun bit.
Okay! I have more than 50 old posts I have abandoned throughout the years, so will keep looking at the old ones to see what else might be worthy. Thanks!
Can you just publish the 50 posts in one go? Saves you sorting through them. It would be like Wikileaks, or #Thriftyleaks
Oh goodness, the idea of that is giving me a heart attack!
Excited for these!
Don’t get too excited! Low expectations means you’re not disappointed and if I deliver, it’s a happy surprise!
I enjoyed this post. Thanks. Over the holidays I purchased the Amazon Fire Stick and Amazon Prime so I am always on the lookout for good things to watch. Thanks again.
I just recently realized that Amazon Prime is movies and shows and not just free shipping. I’m not sure I’d recommend this movie though.
This post is more than good enough for us! We can all use more reminders to be content with what we have. Thank you for writing!
Big hug!
I love this post and I think it applies to everyone in almost all walks of life, age, race, etc.
We can all use reminders to be grateful for what we have and to strive to be better than ourselves and not compete against each other.
Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for commenting!
Great Post! I forgot about that movie. I’ll have to find it abd watch now!
I actually don’t think I would recommend it. I don’t watch many movies though and this one wasn’t all that great. Except that one scene.
This is a great post! Actually, all your posts are good. You’re one of those people who has an interesting mind, so that even your musings on quote-unquote boring topics end up being intriguing. So don’t second guess yourself – post more!
I worry that this is a self-selection bias. Like, every one who gets tired of “boring” topics just unsubscribes and doesn’t tell me. 🙂
Thanks for the encouragement! it is very needed.
That was good enough for my eyes. thank you for sharing!
I appreciate you telling me!
I completely agree with commenter Will! I get many emails from various sources, many I don’t open, but I always open yours because they’re very insightful and entertaining and funny!
That’s a delightful comment. thanks!
Frankly, the line in this post I found most intriguing was that you always say yes when invited to do things if you are free. That kind of openness and freedom is unusual, I think.
Thriftygal, as I recall you are now living in RE phase of the FIRE life. Suddenly I hear a lot of criticism and analysis of FIRE, which always used to seem self-evidently worthy. Your essays here give a nice rejoinder to the charge that early retirement is not possible or even desirable.
Thanks! I had to look up the word rejoinder. 🙂
Went to a funeral today. The deceased was eulogized by a grandson, son-in-law, and the pastor of the son-in-law. The latter said said he introduced himself as “so-and-so’s grandpa” and that got me thinking about fathers and sons with their associated reputations. I’m proud to call myself Janie or Dan’s dad or Clara’s grandpa. I think Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara’s son, Ben, may have had this in mind when he read this screenplay, because it seems the protagonist failed to perceive himself within other’s contexts.
The best/worst thing about FIRE is you get to put more thought into what sort of reputation you leave in your life’s wake. As Henry Cloud says, “Mind your wake.”
I’m sorry your friend died.
One of your best posts yet!
Thanks, Dennis! Hope you’re well. 🙂
You have to remember that in one’s desire to pursue “more” they are creating the framework for others to have “enough”. It’s a symbiosis. One does not live apart from the other. Both goals are not only okay, they are necessary.
I’m not sure I follow?
I enjoy all of your posts immensely… Even if you write about a subject I’m not interested in, I will read it because your wit and insights are wonderful. You have inspired me and a few other folks that I have forwarded your emails to, in ways that you will never even know… Please don’t ever stop, in fact, please post those old ones that you don’t think are worthy… I’m sure many of us will love them. Keep up the great work you are an inspiration, and I wish you would been around before I was in my 60s
I’m so grateful I found you years back
Thank You!
Oh, you’re going to make me cry! I’m feeding off your energy and excitement. Thank you!
enjoyed your post. Really like the blanket you crocheted. Any advice on how to learn to crochet? Been wanting to learn for years.
My mom taught me when I was a kid. I also learned to knit when a friend taught me a few years ago.
I tried to learn to knit using books, but I needed someone to show me and help me with the edges and pointing out mistakes. That’s my advice. Find someone willing to lend you their wisdom in person. 🙂
I enjoyed it, don’t be scurred to push an old idea.
But I’m good at being scurred!
“I love the world, but I don’t need to possess it”….thank you Anita for your post/the great movie suggestion! So many great messages/memories.
You’re quite welcome
This reminds me of Rule 12 (mine not Jordan Petersen’s):
“Feel entitled to nothing: Be grateful for everything”
Paraphrased from someone else – I forget who.
I don’t know who Jordan is, but I agree that the enemy of happiness is entitlement.
Jordan Petersen wrote “12 rules for life”.
I decided to write my own 12 rules just for me to reflect on. Most of them are plagiarised. They act as reminders during the day or when I meet tough situations.
One comes from partly from you: Say “Yes”.
🙂
What are the other 11?
That would be a very long post! Also they resonate with me personally because of where they come from, and because of my own personal issues. So they may not be meaninful to others in the same way.
For example as a great procastinator I need a prompt like the Nike “Just do it”. But I also like “Feel the fear and do it anyway” and also “One thing at a time”, and also “5,4,3,2,1 blast off!”. They all capture different nuances of the issue of immediacy, doing the right thing, getting past fear, and getting on with it. My own problem is not so much fear as laziness. Particularly if I have a whole lot of stuff to do. It is easier to put it off. So my “rule” is “Focus, do one thing well, repeat”
I encourage others to write their own “rules” which are really reminders, or prompts to do the right thing.
I also think it is important to limit them in number because otherwise it can get out of hand!
Love it. Thanks for sharing!
In a sea of bloggers writing posts to convert their audience to their product, it’s so refreshing to read your posts. Valuable, interesting and above all else authentic. Thanks for contributing to the better side of the internet and eager to see more posts!
To be fair, I did link to the post where I bragged about my book (Operation Enough!) and that post includes a link for you to go to Amazon to buy said book.