Don’t blame yourself for not acing your resolution. Blame the patriarchy. Just kidding.
But you’re a grown up, so you can alter the test. You don’t need to change yourself, just change your wording. Work with your strengths and outwit your weaknesses. The more you do this, the more you understand those strengths and weaknesses.
Play with your resolutions and figure out how you tick. Let me give you an example.
Year 35 was my year of the body and I worked out, on average, about six days a week. I know it’s pretty good.
But in September 2018, the year of the body ended and I officially began the year of the breath, focusing on meditation.
So, for the first four months of my 36th year, instead of doing my workout immediately, the first resolution on my mind was meditating.
Small change, but it proved destructive. My exercise rate plummeted.
I learned that If I don’t work out in the morning, I’m much less likely to work out.
So, in January, I went back to focusing on fitness first instead of meditating. My workout rate soared and I’m back to 6-7 days a week. For some reason, I find it much easier to meditate after I work out than to work out after I meditate. I don’t know why.
You just have to learn and explore and try different things. You know this. You’re all successful people.
But resolutions chart is an easy way to navigate. That’s maybe what you don’t know and what I’ve been trying to tell you for ages now.
It’s also twelve days into the month and I’m dropping some August resolutions because I’m not doing well on them. That’s my prerogative and I abuse it frequently.
Dropping some resolutions
I’ve only written one letter after fifteen days and I’m abandoning this resolution. Instead of feeling bad, I’m feeling relieved. Perhaps it’s not possible to revive the lost art of letter writing. At least not this month by me. I’m okay with it.
I’m also not posting on social media anymore because it brings me zero joy. This is not how I want to spend my time.
Finally, I’m dropping take measurements because I was house-sitting for a while and forgot my tape measure, so my grade is in the dumpster fire.
I’m hiding the excel boxes so I can’t see them judging me when I update the rest of the chart. This is a judgment free zone.
You can drop a resolution if you’re not feeling it, too. Do it. It’ll feel good.
Routines i find it easier to keep consistent than just forcing myself with will power. My day usually consists up wake and bake around 5am followed by 10-15 mins of stretching yoga. I only eat between 11-6, and if i lift weights or do fitness yoga that day I try to do it 2-3 hours after my first meal so probably around 2. I like to meditate in the dark with headphones/binural beats on, so I wait until its dark out probably around 8, sometimes I fall asleep during the meditation but its still good.
One thing i’ve wanted to add into my routine is walking/hiking more but it hasn’t happened yet, have to find a way to trick myself into liking it.
Sounds like a pleasant routine.
I’m 100% with you on the “have to make exercise the first thing” thing:
If I don’t, then all of a sudden I have a million excuses about being too tired, too busy, too whatever.
Sounds like the trimming of resolutions is bringing much more joy than dragging yourself forcefully through them, so good call! 🙂
Oh yeah, dump the resolutions that don’t bring joy because the chart is all about joy.
Even I have observed exercise first and meditation later, when are you planning for vipassana program……I give gap of years between 2 sessions and that is making me start from zero and difficult….
I applied for the vipassana course, but was on the wait list and didn’t make it in. I’ll apply again eventually.
There is no joy compared to reading your posts. You words and honesty make me smile. I know you have been talking about grading your habits/resolutions for so long, I finally cave in and gave it a try -12 days into August. Aha! It works so well for a nerd who loves school, homework and getting graded. I have been thoroughly enjoying grading myself. And thank you for this timely post to remind me that this is a tool to help me not a tool to punish myself to feel less than good enough or lazy.
Finding the balance of discipline with the understanding that there needs to be some flexibility. I have been trying out 30 day challenges this year. The most helpful one is to get rid of social media. So much joy getting rid of it. Some experiments brought me to the darkest pit of my depression – like meditation. I constantly doubt whether these 30-day challenges/experiments are truly helpful to understand who I am and what I want to do with my life. The more I experiment, the more fluid my self identity becomes, it sounds like a beneficial thing but not really. Not for me. Not right now at least. I don’t know who I am and who I want to be anymore. That’s scary. I have always had long term goals and enjoyed working hard towards them. I struggle to feel joy now. I couldn’t seem to see the point of all of it. I have been trying to get out of my mind and do the most boring and mundane tasks and giving thanks and express gratitude. Oh, the wonders of a wondrous mind. Maybe this is something worth writing about?
Anyway, thank you for convincing me to give this tool a try. It is helpful to me!
Your username is very true. You are very sweet! I appreciate your kind words more than I can say. And I’m so HAPPY that you find the resolutions chart useful.
When I first started meditating, my depression became worse, too! I can only say that I was lucky enough to power through. A tweak of medication also helped immensely.