I used to have an OKCupid profile a few years ago before I realized that Internet dating sucks the life out of my soul. Alas, I’m reading a bit about finding a partner in crime, a mate, a dude who will tell me, “hey, we’re sitting at the wrong gate; if we don’t move 20 feet to our left, we’ll miss our flight and have to pay $1,000 for a new one to get to NY in time for your TV interview.”
Fidgeting with my earpiece before going on Michaela Pereira’s show.
Yeah, I think that person would be pretty sweet to have. Anyway, the main takeaways of my research so far are (1) it’s futile and (2) I still have to try. Dammit.
So, here’s my dating profile that I’ve updated and altered from OKCupid. I know it’s weird I’m putting it on my blog and not an actual internet dating site, but you email me anyway asking me out, so why involve the middle man? If you’re keen to meet me in person and go out and see if we have the necessary grr factor to spend our lives together, send me a thoughtful email. I’ll be more likely to respond if our paths cross (check out my Carmen Sandiego link), but I’m actually carving out time for this endeavor now, so I’ll try to respond even if our paths aren’t crossing imminently.
Thriftygal’s Dating Profile
I like making lists. To-do lists, grocery lists, list of reasons I’d make an awesome tomato. These lists give me a certain feeling of accomplishment. It’s my heroin. Please don’t judge. Here’s an excerpt from one of my favorite lists – my bucket list.
1. See the world.
3. Fall recklessly in love.
6. Write a book.
9. Feel at home in a foreign country.
30. Keep chickens so I can gather fresh eggs.
44. Fall responsibly in love.
I’m tackling the list with varying degrees of success. I lived in Sydney for a couple of years and cried like a loser when I left. I’m always wandering and have started researching the logistics of writing a book proposal. This is me working on item #44….wanna help?
Me: I like traveling, people-watching, biking, doing the dishes, politics, personal finance, the NYT, walking anywhere when the weather is nice, Amsterdam, cards, organizing, the Bulls, being snobby about spelling and grammar, and sending pictures of my feet to my sister to annoy her.
Crosswalk sign in Vienna
You: The guy in my head is smarter than I am, able to teleport, liberal, not religious, financially competent, vegetarian, funny, and sends shivers down my spine when he touches me. Only that last quality is mandatory.
What I’m doing with my life
I know that life is a brief opportunity for joy, so I’m trying to eke out as much as I can. I want to see everywhere, do everything, meet everyone and I’m looking for a co-conspirator. Professionally, I’m a bit of a bum, blogging about whatever nonsense flits through my brain and tackling other items on my life bucket list.
I’m really good at
twirling my money mustache and cackling decisively. If you understand that reference, we will probably get along. If you don’t understand that reference, how did you even find my blog?
The first things people usually notice about me
My eyes. Or my stature. Or the gun that I’m pointing at them…
Nope, definitely my eyes.
My patron flower
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I read voraciously, preferably fiction, but even a cereal box would suffice.
My attention span is laughably short, so movies don’t really appeal and I don’t watch much television besides the occasional episode of Judge Judy when visiting my parents.
I’m embarrassingly illiterate when it comes to music – anything catchy that I can sing along to when I clean makes me happy. I also tend to get obsessed with one song at a time and listen to it on repeat over and over and over and over again. I think live music is always fun though.
I could eat Indian food every day, but I also have an unhealthy love of Taco Bell. I’m pretending to learn to cook per a different bucket list item, but I don’t like doing it much.
The six things I could never do without
I’m not willing to tempt the universe by publicly acknowledging my biggest weaknesses.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
how to make life better, happiness, what to write about, words I enjoy, my aforementioned lists, the flying spaghetti monster, you (if I develop a crush on you).
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I am more anxious about posting this article than the one where I basically admitted to you all that I’m not quite right in the head. Also, I’m really bad at sudoku.
You should message me if
you want to. I trust your judgment. Unless you have poor judgment.
Email me at thepowerofthrift@gmail.com and give me a bit of your biodata and any other relevant information that you think is important. Or not. That’s cool too.
***
Okay, people who are better at the whole relationship thing than I am – what other vital questions am I missing? Especially in regards to our FI attitude. What makes a healthy, strong, happy, lasting romantic relationship? How do I do this?
you go girl !
have faith in yourself.
i met my soulmate online too.
best of luck…
I am probably way older than many of your followers but honestly it (looking/finding the perfect life partner) doesn’t get any easier! Ok, not to be a “downer”, it does get more fun!
I am an educator/teacher/traveler, not smart, not stupid and enjoy people. I have found in my travels (well actually talking to people in my town!) there are “doers” and “talkers” – people that actually DO stuff/go places and meet people. Then there are the talkers, these people spend an amazing amount of time TALKING about doing stuff/going places and meeting people but never DO/GO or MEET!
Just saying: DO/GO/MEET
Thanks for your insights! Jo
Well written and honest, all that a potential future crush needs to know. It’ll happen, I believe in love.
Im so happy to hear that someone else can get hung up on a song and listen to it over and over. I always tried to make others think Pandora was just accidentally playing the same song over again – even though we weren’t listening to Pandora. I don’t like the word Pandora either. Yes internet dating sucks and it’s exhausting. I think that’s the point actually. As you get older, the ‘date’ becomes more like an interview or voluntary viewer participation where you are really just evaluating why this other person is single. But you can drink wine to help pass the interview along. What did they do to make them less want-able than others? It’s like you’re not dating to see if you like someone but more like you’re just trying to find the ah-ha point as to why this other person is not dateable. I spend more time browsing the available girls than dating. Is it easier if you have 10 choices rather then 1307 in a 20 mile radius? Or do you want a deeper pool of potentials? Or maybe it’s discerning if you could be happy with this other person? Do they realize there is food on their face? Should I tell them? Could my theory be flawed? Where is my wine?
Thanks, that made me laugh!
If only you were a guy…we’d be perfect 😉
Oh my god, my head exploded reading this. I’d like to say that my bio-digital enticement email will be coming your way shortly… but I might be too shy. And even if I sent it, I might have second thoughts and then use my super powers to change history and unsend it. That’s usually how it goes.
Ballsy. The curious stalker in me hopes that you have success and blog about it.
Good stuff. Best of luck on your search. I am sure you will find the right one. I am still on my quest to be FI and do all and even more than what you have on your bucket list 😉
7 billion people AND a penchant for travel?
Pretty good odds.
Just be careful with the eating and loving…
PS: watch “serendipity”
I love that you have such a odd liking for Taco Bell, as do I! Its cheap and just right out delicious! Curious, What is your favorite item? I always have to order the nacho bell grande! I still think its crazy of me to ask you about the food chain, but I guess I am a little strange!
Love the honesty and consistency of your posts! And Yes… MMM brought me to your site. 🙂 Take care!
“How do I do this?” —-oh how I wish I had good advice to give you here!
I do have a couple of suggestions though, which I’m sure are worth exactly what you paid for them….
–What age ranges are you considering?
–What physical traits do you like?
Maybe, just maybe adding this extra level of detail will keep your inbox from overflowing, but I doubt it!
Best of luck to you girl, your blog is turning into a series of social experiments, I dig it!
@John – Thanks for the response! I’ll keep them in mind when I update. 🙂
@kortney – My order is one tostada without the chipotle sauce and one or two soft tacos with beans instead of meat. Also, copious amounts of hot sauce. I would marry the Taco Bell hot sauce if it got up the courage and asked.
@the rest of you – I love your comments!
I agree with the others – this is a delightfully hardcore thing to do on one’s blog! Especially when you know there are loads of strangers coming in from recent news interviews. I’m not sure if I’d have the cajones to do this on my website if I were in the same soulmate searching situation. Way to go, Thriftygal!
I just hope the resulting pileup of emails from applicants doesn’t make your task even harder. But the pool of Thriftygal Readers is probably way more compatible than OKCupid customers, so I think you’re smart.
“Alas, I’m reading a bit about finding a partner in crime, a mate… .” What have you been reading on the topic? Anything good?
You go girl – love that you put this out there! Here’s hoping the “right” one reads and responds!!
You have such a beautiful personality, I wish you the best of luck!
I was in Sprouts, trying to get directions to the chocolate-covered acai berries. The shopgirl didn’t know. I said, “You and your store provide another illustration, were one necessary, of Kenton’s Law.”
“Kenton’s Law?”
“Vegetarianism makes young women look wonderfully beautiful.”
Blushing a little. “Thank you.”
“But it makes young men look like weeds.”
“What? What did you say?”
“It makes young men look like weeds.”
She began to giggle, then to laugh loudly. “O, it does! It makes them look exactly like weeds. They’re in here all the time. O, I’ve got to go tell Shoshoni. O, you’re so right. She’s going to love this.” And away she went, leaving me unberried.
I will know you have found dating bodhi, but not brahmacharya, when I see a young beauty with shining blue-black hair on the arm of a weed-like young man.
Ahh, Amsterdam. How I love that city above all others. Beautiful city with beautiful people. Wish you the best. So brave, again.
PPS: re responsible love
I have heard many tales of such but find the magic is most often accompanied by the reckless.
Darn magic… Can’t be scheduled, controlled or subjected to process.
But it is easy to enjoy.
Oh, good luck! I found my partner on OKCupid; I usually tell people that I ordered him from the internet.
My experience might be unusual – I had a great time online dating. I was on a 5,000 mile solo road trip through the wilds of Canada and could only interact via email for an hour or so a day (if I was lucky). By the time we were able to talk on the phone, we’d been writing back and forth for a couple of weeks, and by the time we were able to meet in person a few weeks after that, we were absolutely primed for a really-peak-experience date.
So, possible tip: I think it worked so well for me in part because I was at my most relaxed, enjoying an activity that actively engaged/strengthened the most authentic parts of me. YMMV, of course.
I’m not on the dating market, but (a) good on you for doing this and (b) I would like to know why you would make a good tomato.
Love this brutally honest post – it’s the only way to go!
It takes a lot of guts to post this publicly 🙂 good luck, you have a lot going for you!
there ya go again…making a seriously unique mark by recklessly tromping down the road less traveled. so how does this work? is this social experiment all going online ala The Bachelorette? nothing like crowd sourcing the selection process. i don’t mind being picked apart by the world at large. i suspect that you will need a committee of friends and family to assist in the sifting of biodata. so do you have any big data on the demographics of your potential pool of candidates? if it’s anything like MMM, you’re probably in pretty good company. of course there could be more than a few that aren’t exactly right in the head….although i’ve not been clinically diagnosed as such…yet. so would this be too early in our relationship to sext you a little something? and i do mean ‘little’. i’d caution NSFW, but you don’t work in any traditional sense. etch-a-sketch memory module?
Hey Thriftygal,
My advice to you is this: when you meet someone, trust your feelings and go with your gut. We lawyers (I’m also a UofC law grad) are trained to think and overthink and then think some more. Love is in a completely different category. It will feel right when it is right, and it’s not about making a list of pros and cons. It’s about meeting someone with whom you can grow and who can grow with you (and yes, who sends shivers down your spine).
One more piece of advice: whether through online dating or otherwise, get out there and meet people. Dating is in part a numbers game, and you should optimize your chance of success.
Best of luck! I enjoy your blog!
Fantastic post – I really hope you continue to post about this part of your journey. I hope you hear from some compatible guys. I’m doing the polar opposite of you right now (looking for total contentedness without a mate) but love to hear about how people meet and how they go about answering the desire to partner up. I may stay single forever rather than deal with all the internet dating choices out there. It’s like the TV nowadays, so many shows and channels and noise – I completely stopped watching it, count me out.
Some advice:
-talk about lifestyle preferences, you know this, as you’ve retired , saved money, traveled the world, and are extremely smart.
-get out of the way early whether or not they 1) have a passport/like to/want to travel 2) want kids
-don’t rule out anyone, esp. and even though they don’t seem like ‘your type’
-soulmates are friends, too- send this to your friends, and say you’re looking. someone could be chomping at the bit to introduce you to a friend-of-a-friend.
-don’t believe the ‘you know when you know’ hype, like I used to, referring to first meeting. It’s not like that; yes, I ‘knew’ but it looked normal, laying in bed and feeling it, not just on the first date gazing into his eyes…
-don’t give up. dating esp. online dating is a full-time job, and treat it like such.
-read ‘the case for settling for mr. good enough’, despite the negative reviews and bad hype. it points out some good ideas and points about what we should look for and don’t want to look for…
-read ’36 questions to lead to true love’ from the New York Times, analyze your own answers to help show you when you are truly compatible with someone
-KNOW YOURSELF REALLY WELL. Know what you’d settle for, know what you’d give up to have true love and a lasting, life-long relationship.
good luck.
xoxoxo
This is awesome! I hope you have plans to write about your dates! Teach us single men what worked to impress a quality lady like yourself!
Personally, I dont mind online dating. I’ve met a couple quality gals doing it and a ton of other, well, interesting folks.
You could eat Indian food every day, not everyday. Figured you’d understand my urge to correct, seeing as you’re a self-proclaimed grammar snob.
@Sola – Thank you! I just looked it up and you’re right. Another new thing to be snobby about. 🙂
How you don’t already have a boyfriend, I’ll never know. Of course, I hear that, too and I kind of roll my eyes and give a Legally Blonde-ish answer of, “what, like it’s easy”?! I go through bouts of kinda wanting to meet someone but really just being happy alone (I was married once…ugh) and dreaming up my dog rescue farm because as far as happiness goes, I know of nothing greater than dogs…and food. (Eating while watching Judge Judy WITH my dog…heaven.)
Good luck to you. I am just counting on the universe to deliver my man but it’s hard when the only place I go is the gym and the store. Whatever. He’ll find me.
And you’ll find him. How could you not?! Seriously, you’ve got IT!
How I see you is as a salvation-bent, but pragmatic, earnest, subtly amusing woman, who admittedly has had a bit of suburban exposure but is now reforming to be a homeless person, traveling the world over under the stars. One hopes, it is an ascent to the stars also. Armed with lists, your mind can afford to meander, pause, and then ebb and flow freely. You have the gift of gab and boy howdy, that touch. I am not offering it as a running commentary, but only as a fleeting observation, that some Indian women eventually realize that their calling is to be with an Indian man. Have you been there, in that thought experiment?
It’s an awesome profile. I actually considered suggesting to MMM that he create a site called Mustache Love for like-minded humans, but, alas…why did I not?
Thanks, but it didn’t work. 🤔 I’ve heard that a dating app is in the works.