Have you read Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project? In it, she talks about how she uses a resolutions chart to basically grade herself on life. You are what you repeatedly do. Are the character traits you hope people will use at your funeral the ones you’re emulating on a regular basis?
I’ve kept a resolutions chart, on and off, since 2013 and it’s become the most valuable habit I ever adopted. The months that I keep up with my resolutions chart are better months than when I let the laziness take over. Doing what I ought to be doing makes me a happier person.
It’s an easy way to measure any goal and, especially with fitness, gives you a place to specifically track whatever you’re tracking at the moment.
So here’s how to fall into the habit of using a resolutions chart. Or at least, this is what I did/do.
Step 1: Make the shell of your resolutions chart – come up with five resolutions.
Start a spreadsheet with five tiny things you can do that you think will make your life better.
Make at least two of the resolutions so comically easy you can’t possibly fail. You should be excited to update this thing and not dreading it because you suck. Maybe make one of the resolutions something you already do that you like that you already do.
One resolution should be a stretch. But more of a relaxing stretch and not a strenuous stretch.
Here are some of my first resolutions from early 2013.
- Get dressed
- Take Vitamin D
- Make a list
- Drink 32 ounces of water
- Avoid time wasters
The most fun part, in my opinion, is coming up with resolutions. This is the dreaming part. What do you want your life to look like?
I’ve read that writing something down on paper cements information in your brain better than using an app or a computer to track it. I printed out my resolutions chart and updated it with a pen the first few years after starting my chart and what I will likely do again when I settle down and have a printer.
2. At some point tomorrow, think about and do these five tiny things.
Devote some mental space to these resolutions. Keep them in the middle of your mind until you do it.
Remember, some of the tasks should be so manageable, it’s laughable. They should be good habits you already have, so you’ll already doing it a lot. You don’t want to try to devote too much time and mental energy in the beginning or you’ll abandon it. You’ll burnout. Make it doable.
You’re piggy-backing your easy, good habits to goad you into thinking about a new potential habit you want to test drive.
I’ve found that having at least one resolution I do as soon as I wake up helps a lot. I can mentally check one off and start the day with a win. This also causes me to start reviewing my other resolutions early on, plotting when I’ll do them. “Make my bed” is one I used frequently as my jump-start resolution.
3. Before you put tomorrow to bed, take out your resolutions chart and spend a couple of seconds giving yourself a smiley face for each resolution you did.
The purpose of having some easy goals is for the confidence boost and momentum push. Heck yeah, I’m getting dressed 6-7 days a week! Take that, Precious!
Track it. Be able to say with confidence how often you’re doing (or not doing) something. This brings great clarity. Numbers don’t lie.
We have crap memories and like to protect our fragile egos. We give ourselves the benefit of the doubt in our brain. If you track it, you can’t lie to yourself. You are what you repeatedly do. Are you being the person you want to be? Are you doing the things you want to be doing?
Maybe I’m a nutzo, but I love getting those smiley faces. I exist for those smiley faces. On the days I don’t do the resolution and can’t give myself a smiley face, I give myself a number instead. If this is the first time I’ve skipped the resolution, I give myself a one. If this is the tenth time I’ve skipped the resolution, I give myself a ten. You understand.
Me and the tallest man in the world. Can’t you just picture our normal-sized children?
4. Repeat steps two and three until the end of the month.
This is the hardest step, but also the best step.
5. At the end of the month, grade your chart and see how you did.
You can miss up to three days a month and still get an A. I love that. You don’t have to be perfect, just consistent.
You can miss nine freaking days in a month and still get a C. I’m happy with average for a lot of my resolutions.
Of course, I still get a ton of F’s too.
Don’t feel bad about the failures. Resolutions Chart wants you to be happy and is only here to help. Celebrate the A’s and see what habits are easy to keep. Use it to personalize and tweak to get to your optimal life for yourself, to measure what you’re trying and what’s working.
6. Make a new shell for the next month.
At some point toward the end of the month, contemplate your dreams for the next month. Create a new resolutions chart shell.
I started with five to six resolutions for the first few months and gradually added more in. Nowadays, I track about 10-15 resolutions each month. I’ve found that more than that gets overwhelming. I only have so many brain cells.
There are some months where I start my chart and fall off the wagon completely in updating it because of a string of uncomfortable Fs. When that happens, I just make a new shell for the following month, piling on the easy resolutions, the resolutions I know I love to keep and that make my life better when I’m keeping them. Read. Write. Walk. I scale back on the stretch goals and tread water, breathing and enjoying the sunlight.
When I gather my confidence back, I add on more of the stretch goals. A little bit at a time gets you a lot over the long run. Grit just means getting up again.
The more you do this, the savvier you get and the better you understand yourself. Your resolutions evolve and focus.
Focus on the process. Are you enjoying the process? If that’s a yes, then you’ve won life. I like my life better when I’m getting A’s instead of F’s. I design the test so I succeed easily.
So go do this right now.
…
Or not.
My therapist once told me that not everyone makes lists every day. Some people just decide what to do when they get up. I think about this conversation a lot.
I realize that I’m wound pretty tight and I can see this post not being helpful to those with more chill in their bones. I’m always craving more chill.
How do you ensure you’re doing what you want yourself to be doing every day? Is there a chiller way?
Genius – I like that a lot, will try it for myself in March 2018
I hoped someone would try it for March! That’s why I published it the last Monday in February. 🙂 I hope it brings you as much happiness as it’s brought me!
I’ve not read that Gretchen Rubin book but I put it on my Amazon wish list a long time ago after (I think) Tim Ferriss recommended it. Need to read, sounds like a great practice.
I’ve tried the practice of writing down things I’m grateful for in the morning but have continually fallen off that wagon.
Yeah, a gratitude journal always sounds like a great idea. Gratitude breeds happiness. But I could never stay on that wagon either.
Maybe a goal to update your gratitude journal 🙂
I keep a fairly detailed weekly planner. Without going into every detail that gets put into it, there is one box that I use for these small goals. Instead of tracking them, I just write them down. That’s my “chiller” way I suppose. At most there are 5 items and I keep them simple as well. One of them is to wash my make-up off at the end of every day. I suppose I am more motivated now than in previous times of my life because, as you mentioned, I want to look back and say I lived my best life. For little things, like skin complexion, I have no one else to blame, so I might as well do it- no excuses!
Oh please go into every detail! I’m honestly so curious as to what works for other people. I’d love to hear about people who use what may even be less chill methods than I do.
Love this post! I am just like you…I have to chart it out or else I do nothing and get no sense of accomplishment. Deciding what to do when I wake up is a gamble I can’t take…I’l most likely doing nothing of substance. But if I write it out…it has a better chance of happening and I’m happier becasue I can cross it off my list.
If it’s a month where I’ve stopped tracking something (like flossing) and I floss, it doesn’t feel as exciting. I’m happier because I can cross it off my list is my life in a nutshell. 🙂 Thanks for sharing!
This is terrific! Thanks for the advice, Thriftygal!
I noticed that your resolutions chart includes “operation no cash.” What is that? Care to share?
Operation No Cash was just an operation I did years ago. I’ve read many times that using only cash makes you aware of your spending. It was just a money-conscious tip I wanted to try. And hated it. 🙂
I was trying to do something like this as a part of measuring my “productivity index”. I would list all the things I needed to get done for that day (Work/otherwise) and I would give myself a score at the end of the day depending on how many tasks I finished. If I finished 9/10 tasks score would be 0.9. It got too hard and I quit after consistently getting low scores. This method of starting easy with atleast 2 simple tasks sounds optimistic. I’m gonna try doing that starting tomorrow:)
Thank you for sharing!
Yeah, it’s not fun feeling like you’re failing.
I have the opposite approach – I write it down if I *don’t* manage to complete my resolution that day. I’m not very organised, so it’s more of a chore for me to have to make a note. At the start of each month I write down my resolutions, and then put a tally next to it each day that I fail. If I get to a couple of months passing without having put any tallies next to it, I know it’s become a habit I no longer need to record. I tried it your way around to begin with, but I kept forgetting to record my successes & then couldn’t work out how well I was doing.
Interesting! I want to try this. Thanks for sharing.
“Avoid time-wasters” is a sucky resolution for two reasons. 1) it’s too vague. 2) it’s negative. If you can reframe this resolution as a positive thing to do that’s tangible and measurable, I think you’ll be happier with it.
Haha! I never get an A at this resolution. My “avoid time-wasters” are a few specific websites. Freecell and reddit.com/r/relationships.
Love how you ended this! I could really relate. I constantly strive to better myself, but also realize it’s never-ending so I try to be okay with all aspects of my life, even the ones I think I should change.
It doesn’t end, but I think that’s the fun part. And what works for one stage of life might not work for another. 🙂
I love Gretchen Rubin, I feel she’s got this happiness thing nailed down.
Me too and completely agree!
I’m one not craving more chill, but I do eschew charts and “this is what I should do” everyday. I’ve read so many self-help books over the years, that if I did one one hundredth of what they said, I’d be living my life 24/7 on doing everything I’m supposed to do.
We’re creatures of habit and the same thought processes of today aren’t much different than yesterday. To me, it’s the daily incremental/small hacks in life that constantly make my life better. I don’t want to have an outside chart, but internally daily checking my progress.
One of my small hacks in life is reading this fine blog. Thank you for doing this.
Yes! I’ve read a ton of self-help books too. It’s more for the ideas on what to try though and not with the expectation that everything will work. I’m glad you find some use from my muttering. 🙂
Hey Thrifygal! I like the chart style! For a few years now, I’ve hung a small 1 yr calendar in my bathroom. Each time I hit my workout goal, I put a smiley face on the respective day. It’s a super in-your-face reminder and one so easy I can review/update it while I brush my teeth 😀
Thanks for the great blog!
Oh! When I was working, I had a calendar pinned at my desk and would give myself a star sticker for working out. I think that’s a great system too! Love the bathroom idea though! I’m always looking for things to do when brushing my teeth (tree pose, walking, using the other hand to brush, squats). 🙂
I tree pose when cleaning my teeth too! I thought it was just me.
(My wife and children try to push me over when they see me doing it…)
I think what’s so helpful is focusing on different aspects of your life. Health, happiness, relationships, business, etc. I know that one trap I fall into is focusing too much on one area of my life and neglecting others.
It’s always helpful to keep a list of things to do that you know will pay off in the long run.
It’s good to have different aspects of life to work on because when one goes to shit, you can always work on another to make yourself feel better.
Your last sentence sounds like “systems, not goals.” Love it!
Anita, Hope you are enjoying your time in India……do you want to make a post ……on differences in cultures……since you have visited many places….. what do you like in India..
I’m working on a post about India. 🙂
thanks for the post , Anita! I am a big fan of personal improvement and also a crazy list-aholic =)))
I am very eager to try out your resolution chart.
On my side, in addition to lists, I am also using time blockign technique (which I think is even better than to-do lists.) I add time chunks to my calendar that represent different activities. It helps me to arrange my day in a more effective way and also track where my time goes. I sometimes go back and reflect on my past schedule (should do it more often)
I like the idea of time-blocking, but I can’t get too crazy with it or it reminds me of working as a lawyer. 🙂 I also like the idea of time-blocking to see where one wastes time. (Damn you, Freecell!)
What?!? Not everyone is a list maker?? What losers. Tightly wound people unite! It’s how we get more shit done! Yay!
….I would love to feel like I’m a chill… and productive… human being on days I don’t make a to-do list. Sometimes, if I work at it, I can recount the day at the end and realize I did more than I thought I did. Yay!
And I was all into Gretchen Rubin until I found out she had a full-time nanny while she was working on the Happiness Project and giving herself gold stars all the time. Childrearing ends up taking up an inordinate number of to-do list items when at home with small ones. Luckily, mine are finally in school. Yay! (And I never finished her other book on habits, but you may be like me- the Questioner- and it’s utterly exhausting to be in my tightly-wound head sometimes).
Hanging on the wall next to me is my 10 Goals in 12 Months list that I made after reading Just Shut Up and Do It! (not the greatest book ever, but very short) and I can honestly say I’m feeling pretty good about that list. Yay!
Thank you for your insights! I enjoy reading your blog.
Yay!
Should I put Just Shut Up and Do It on my reading list?
Thanks for the excellent comment.
Well, it IS short. I’d say you already have most of the big ideas covered, or rejected the others as stupid (he’s a bigwig who recommends big jobs so you can afford a life of luxury, while we all know moderation and and a mantra of “enough” is better), but his advice about writing down and prioritizing 10 goals in 12 months was worth the exercise. I’ll achieve about 8 of mine- exceeding on a couple of them- and a year is a good amount of time to allow for getting back on track after some setbacks. Also, having kept in mind the ones that I won’t achieve for a whole
year has made me really aware of whether they really were the right goal for me or not. A couple of my goals were not. But as a natural list–maker and goal setter, you already have a lot of the basics for making the most of a tightly-wound life, so I would recommend other books before this one. Yay!
Thanks for the thorough reply!
How do we deal with desires which we cannot take up any more….like you wanted to do something and you cannot do it now…due to age, not meeting eligibility etc….how do we deal with such unfulfilled desires. Not think about them or ??
That’s a big question that I’m not sure I know the answer to. There is too much in this world and life to focus so much energy and brain cells on something you can’t do/have.
I always mean to write something here and I never do. I really get a lot out of your blog and almost every single 1 of your posts Please keep posting!
Thank you for taking the time to write such a lovely comment. Big hug!
Have you considered attending a Vipassana 10 day retreat? They are completely free (room and food provided), all over the world in different countries and multiple states in the US, etc. You basically force yourself to meditate for 10 days straight – the end result is more chill, less emotional baggage, less procrastination, more focus, and of course spiritual progression and great purpose in life. Just throwing it out there if you haven’t explored it 🙂
I’ve heard of these types of retreats and it’s definitely on the life bucket list. I want to pair it with a vow of silence. Thanks for the reminder!
I prepare list of all tasks to be done and when I don’t have time for it, don’t even touch the list…..sometimes for a week, I don’t look at the list 🙂
I make myself a google form that asks whether I’ve done my specific things I am supposed to be working on, and then a recurring calendar reminder with the link in it so I check in once a week and see if I can tick all the boxes or not. I also use it to keep track of what books I am reading and to express specific gratitude. I don’t go in and look at the trends more often than every couple of months, so its pretty chill, or some version of chill where I am still consciously tracking things.
I just googled “Google Form” it and it’s a place to collect and organize information big and small. I’ve never heard of it, but I’ll check it out. Thanks!
Really interesting post (that I’ve just re-read for the second time this morning to make sure it sinks in).
I initially read this when you posted it, loved the idea, and decided to try it – with mixed results. It’s not even the end of the month yet, and too late for any A’s. I may be able to pull out a few B’s and C’s, though there are going to be some F’s and even a U too [:-(]!
In case you haven’t guessed, I tried more than the 4-5 suggested (in fact I tried 8).
I love the idea though (I used habits to get myself reading my phone less, and books more last year), and so hope to repeat this exercise again in April.
My question: Do you carry things over to subsequent months, and if so, what?
– The A’s that were easy?
– The B’s/C’s that you’re doing well on, where there is still room for promovent?
– The F’s that were bad?
– The U for the thing you only did on the first day, then avoided/missed/skipped for the rest of the month?
What does U stand for?
As for things I carry over…
I always have at least one A. I’ve had dozens of resolutions throughout the years, so it could be a resolution I haven’t used in months, but have used in the past. Does that make sense? Make my bed. Read. Make a list. The easy ones. I don’t use all of them at once, but I rotate them in depending on whatever.
B’s and C’s are also excellent for a lot of resolutions! Celebrate the A’s. High-five the B’s. Smile fondly at the C’s. Nod sympathetically at the D’s. Contemplate the F’s.
As soon as I realize I’m getting an F in a particular resolution, I stop devoting brain space to it and just focus on the remaining resolutions for the month. I may add it back in the following month to see if I can catch the momentum, but if it’s a few months in a row of Fs, I drop it. At least for a bit.
I also try to tweak the Fs by wording it differently or trying a different angle. Instead of “drink 32 ounces of water,” I’d try, “keep a glass of water next to you at work at all times.”
I hope that helps!
Ah sorry, U is maybe a UK thing, meaning ‘unclassified’ (or ‘ungraded’, or ‘ungradeable’ depending on who you speak to). It’s what you get after an ‘F’ or a ‘G’. Basically name on the top of the paper, some scribbles and not much else.
P.S. Your comments make perfect sense. And help a lot. I really like the idea of tweaking the Fs too, perhaps as a kind of F-lite that is more achievable in the short turn!
Thanks again 🙂