I would rather be lucky than good. Luckily, Richard Wiseman wrote a book telling me how to grow luckier. The author breaks luck down into four principles to consider when increasing your luck. I’ve explained his takeaways and interpreted with my own jive.
Principle One: Maximize your chance opportunities
There are three aspects to a person’s personality that correlate with how lucky they feel: their levels of extroversion, openness, and neuroticism.
Extroversion
If you rate highly on the extroversion scale, you are likely luckier.
Extroverts are outgoing and feel energized talking to people. As a result, they talk to a lot of people. And, because in this world it’s more about who you know than what you know, they tend to be luckier. They come across more opportunities for romance and jobs and excitement because they interact with so many people. It’s a numbers game.
Introverts are the opposite and “are happy to spend time on their own and feel most contented when engaged in more solitary activities, such as reading a good book.”
But I don’t think traits are immutable. It’s a continuum and you can scoot yourself in one direction or the other with some practice and determination. I think.
Social magnetism
The author describes a specific aspect of extroversion, one’s social magnetism, that determines your luck. You can draw people to you with your body language.
Tiny banana in India
Ooh, some low-hanging fruit. My body language is most definitely not open. I curl into a chair, tuck my feet into whatever crevice I can and ball my fists when I walk. My arms spend their lives crossed near my chest, protecting my heart. I don’t even realize I’m doing it. It’s just habit.
We rely on habits to get us through our days. Good or bad, our habits are who we are. Happily, with a bit of mindfulness, I think you can change your habits.
At least I hope so. Changing my body language is something I’m actively working on. Dozens of times a day, I’m plucking at this fruit and reminding myself.
Uncross your arms. Wear a sweater if you’re cold.
Make some eye contact! You’re not being creepy.
Shift your legs so they’re facing the person you’re talking to. Engage, my love.
Smile! Life is grand.
Keep your palms open and welcome the world all up in your space. Come in, sit down, take off your pants.
I’ve been doing this for a few weeks now. I still haven’t switched from bad habit to good habit as I’m catching myself reverting to form hourly, but this is an easy resolution. I can unball my fists! Delicious low-hanging fruit.
Neuroticism
If you rate low on the neuroticism scale, you are likely luckier.
“Neurotic people are more anxious. They might be focused on getting to a meeting on time, thinking about finding a new job, or worrying about the problems in their lives. As a result, they have a very narrow, focused beam of attention that causes them to miss the unexpected opportunities that surround them on a daily basis.”
Oh, crud. I think I may be highly neurotic. Neurotic people are less mindful, too deep in their own head and less present in the world. I’m not focused on getting to a meeting on time because I don’t work, but I am focused on getting to the grocery store.
[Lucky people] “do not go to parties and meetings trying hard to find their dream partners or someone who will offer them their perfect job. Instead, they are simply relaxed and therefore more attuned to the opportunities around them. They go to parties and listen to people. Lucky people see what is there, rather than trying to find what they want to see. As a result, they are far more receptive to any opportunities that arise naturally.”
Mindfulness. Dammit, it’s always mindfulness, isn’t it?
Okay. For the last several weeks, when I walk to the grocery store, or anywhere else, really, I pull myself out of my head, smile, and make eye contact at the people who cross my path. It still feels unnatural, but the results are encouraging. People smile back and strike up conversations. They tell you you’re pretty and ask you out.
Openness
If you rate high on the openness scale, you are likely luckier.
Open people “have a great deal of variety or novelty in their lives.” They are more open to the possibilities in the world. If you go out and interact and do things, you’ll stumble across more lucky chances than if you sit on your couch in your bathrobe all the time.
I’m high on the openness scale. Thank goodness. No experimenting here.
Prague
Principle Two: Listen to your lucky hunches
Lucky people, I think because they are mindful and in the world, trust their instincts.
My instincts aren’t very loud. The more I ignore that voice, the less she speaks up. You’d do the same if you were ignored.
The author recommends meditation, creating a quiet space for intuition to come and hang out. I’m forever rotating “meditate” on my resolutions chart.
Principle Three: Expect Good Fortune
Lucky people expect good fortune. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. They create the narrative that they’re lucky and the world rises to the occasion. Your mind makes your reality.
What the author is describing in this principle is just grit. Lucky people are grittier. They chase the opportunities and they keep chasing them and they don’t let the stumbles keep them down. Fall seven. Rise eight. Maybe the eighth rise is the lucky one.
Principle Four: Turn your bad luck into good
Lucky people have the right mindset. They stand up, wrestle the silver lining from the darkness, and declare themselves lucky. The author here uses the example of our farmer who questions what’s good or bad. Who’s to say what’s lucky or unlucky?
You weave your own narrative. You’re about as lucky as you make up your mind to be. Your memory affects your mood and your mood affects your memory. All of this data the author presents are just based on surveys of people reporting how lucky they feel.
Can you pick out the lucky events in your life and concentrate on those? Stop spending so many brain cells on the unlucky event. It really is that simple.
Argentina
Are you lucky or unlucky?
I’m lucky because, at 23, I found a job as a flight attendant. It was pure luck that I saw that commercial advertising the interviews that day. I’m lucky that my mom turned the volume up and encouraged me to apply and quit my unsatisfying job in insurance. This started my life of adventure.
instead of
I’m unlucky because the grocery store didn’t have avocados in stock yesterday.
Answer that you’re lucky, pick out some lucky incidents in your past and run with that narrative. Roll your eyes at the unlucky narrative because the unlucky narrative is stupid.
Im somewhere in the middle, in fact I was always considered an introvert but in my head I was/am an extrovert who does not know how to ‘do’ extrovert, cant remember words or sentence structure on the fly so come across as creepy/shifty if I push my limits. As for luck, well luck is real, stuff happens, have been surrounded by genuine bad luck all my life with family illnesses and unemployment which drain your brain, body, soul and even money.
Who’s to say what’s lucky or unlucky?
The author asked lucky and unlucky people how lucky they would feel if they were in a bank during a bank robbery and the robber shot them in the shoulder.
The unlucky people said they would feel very unlucky! As usual. A robber shot them! In the shoulder! They need that shoulder! Of course that’s bad.
The lucky people said they felt very lucky. They could have been shot in the head.
You create your own narrative.
I’m probably in the middle. I’m definitely an introvert and a bit neurotic, especially when I have somewhere to be. I just consider the fact that I’m healthy at my age with no major problems as proof that I’m lucky, and I’ll leave it at that 🙂
I consider the fact that I just took four days off from my “job” of writing four hours a day because of fun social events as proof that I’m lucky, and I’ll leave it at that. 🙂
Thank you! For this post and other musings.
You’re quite welcome.
I think the science in “luck” is opportunistic exploitation of options. Keep the maximum number of options open, particularly those with a huge up-side and low cost. And keep yourself attuned to detect them at all times. (I think I’m stealing from Antifragile, a book I recommend.)
Life is random enough that we’re presented with a normal distribution of good and bad opportunities continuously. We don’t see them most of the time. Or act on them if we do. Just selectively grabbing good opportunities and shunning bad opportunities suffices to characterize oneself as lucky. After that it’s a numbers game and given enough good-opportunity trials, you’ll harvest wins.
Mt. Talib (the Antifragile author) recommends a barbell strategy consisting of putting the bulk of one’s net worth in very safe stuff (e.g. VTSAX) and gambling with 10% on high-risk/high-reward ventures. I’m hoping this strategy will make me lucky and rich.
I would read another book by that guy. He wrote Black Swan.
Hold some cash before the inevitable crash.
I could have used some more luck on my first boots on the ground to find the treasure. I wandered around Yellowstone for a bit and saw some amazing sites but no treasure chest, (The Firehole Falls and Ojo Caliente)
I guess I was lucky because I stumbled onto a group of resting buffalo in their den, probably around 4 arm lengths away. I played it off calm and pretended like they weren’t there and then backed into the woods while they kind of just stared at me like wth bro you don’t come in here.
Some takes from my first solo adventure. 4900 miles through 16 states over 7 days. Camping and hiking aren’t as fun without company. I ended up just reading in my hammock and falling asleep at the camp grounds, I didn’t even have the desire to make a camp fire. I think I might have to get a dog. Also Jeep Wranglers are awesome and Colorado has a lot of fun dirt country roads and scenic views, but its damn cold.
I’ll add this book to my list, hopefully I will read it before my next exploration and will have different results.
Sounds like a trip!
This post was a little like a punch in the gut for me, as I definitely lean more towards being neurotic and introverted. I know people who always seem to make the best of what they have, even when they don’t have much, and you can tell that they’re happy and excited about living life and exploring the world. I’m the type of person that needs to feel comfortable before I go out and do something, but I think it’s such an invaluable skill to be thrown in a difficult or uncomfortable situation and be able to adapt yourself to it.
Sorry to punch you, but sometimes it can be a punch that you need? I understand the punched feeling, though.
Were you really a flight attendant? I don’t recall you writing about that experience before? For how long and did you enjoy it?
Right before law school, for about six months, I flew for a charter airline. We did mostly international trips for the government and other airlines. It was the best job I ever had.
I wrote about it a little bit here when I talk about how I negotiated for higher salaries here.
Cool, not sure if you are still traveling but would you do it again for the perks?
Never say never, but probably not. I think I would feel like I’m moving backwards.
instructions unclear. took off pants in middle of meeting.
Yeah, I’ve made that mistake, too. Surprisingly enough, taking off your pants is not an automatic disqualifier most of the time. In fact, some guys may even like you *more* after you take off your pants.
Thanks for the edification. In most cases, paranoia about the world is not warranted, except when it is warranted. But luck can smile on you. There is a break, there is a crack in everything. Mavericks of all lands, unite!
Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you!
I’m always beaming at people and talking about how lucky I am. It’s a fun way to live. Well, a guy kind of followed me to the bathroom once–that’s not good, but anyway.
My kids are much more likely to complain. My daughter, for example, weeps giant tears if she has to throw away the cereal-milk mush she left on the table. I wonder how we can encourage other people to adopt these attitudes?
I love your attitude. It’s a fun way to live! But I have no idea how to encourage other people to change their mindview. Lead by example? Give her this book to read? Tell her there is no use crying over spilt milk?
This was a great book, I still tell my daughter that she needs to eat something new to be luckier. She is a very picky eater… thanks for the reminder of the principles from the book.
CRISIS = DANGER + OPPORTUNITY
LUCK = PREPERATION + OPPORTUNITY
I’m one of the few people who are happy when the stock market goes down, I always hold some cash.
The timing is coming. I think. 🙂 VTSAX is on sale. Nobody knows how big the discount and when to buy though. How low will it go?