Some people can separate their home lives from their work lives cleanly and efficiently.
They get up and go to work and do their work and chat with their work friends and they appreciate the work day and the working paycheck and I imagine them whistling as they go about their working morning.
Then, after work, they go do whatever else nourishes their soul. Maybe they take long bike rides or they paint something or they practice taxidermy. Their lives are whole and full and happy.
My sister is one of those people. Even though her net worth is higher than mine, she never plans to stop working. She likes her job and refuses to retire early.
I’m not one of those people. I’m the opposite of one of those people. I have only so much energy in a given day. If work consumes the first part of my day, I don’t have energy for the last part of my day. TV seems like a good option in that case.
Now that I’m retired, running an errand is a major accomplishment. How did I fit in errands when I was working?
How did I fit in life when I was working?
The answer is, I didn’t. When I was working, I always felt like I was wasting my time on this world. Sitting in an office. Sitting in front of the TV. Of course, I still occasionally feel like I’m wasting my time now, but the flashes of pain are much briefer. I remind myself that I’m living on my own terms and if there’s any waste, I can remedy that easily enough by going to do something else. I have the energy now to change my habits.
If you want to do your own Operation Enjoy the Crap Out of Life — doing a social activity everyday — it’s a lot harder to fit in after working all day. Don’t you just want to collapse into your couch when you’re done and not put on your social smiley face?
For an introvert, I can only handle so much.
If you want to do your own Operation Make Friends with your Body — working out every single day — it’s a lot harder to fit in with a demanding and time-consuming job. Do you want to get up earlier than you have to to actually move your body? I never could.
For a lazy person, I can only handle so much.
If you love your job, you’ll never work a day in your life.
But then again, I had energy for the rest of life when I worked as a flight attendant. I have energy now as a writer, so I know that saying can feel true. Work only feels like work when it’s unpleasant.
Retirement just means working on your own terms. The earlier the better.
i agree with this 100% Retirement just means working on your own terms. The earlier the better.
Wish it was me, how ever unavoidable set backs changed that deam haha, ill make the best out it haha
As long as you’re a little bit ahead when you go to sleep than when you woke up, you’re in good shape. Just keep swimming.
So true – Retirement just means working on your own terms. The earlier the better. Kind of there (I have the freedom to step away from stuff that I don’t like, but not stop entirely if I wan’t to).
Reminds me of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdfeXqHFmPI
As for separating personal and professional. I used to be TERRIBLE at this. Now I think I am quite good.
I got there by having a clear vision of who I want to be and what’s important to me. And then I start each week by taking a couple of hours to ensure my week is mapped out to spend time in areas that are important to me (working, being active, spending time with family). If you know what you want, plan in advance and have discipline – it is possible.
A few ideas here – http://danielclough.com/plan-killer-week/
Thanks for sharing! I liked the video. 🙂
Completely agree. I am in the same camp as you.
Some people can draw clear boundaries between life and work. Others cannot and will have to choose between the two.
I worked for a top tech company in Silicon Valley. I used to often wonder what I was doing sitting there in front of a computer, using my mental powers to build websites for services that a certain small percentage of the developed world used for the purpose of making money. I simply did not enjoy what I was doing. I spent 6 long years, patiently pocketing the income and stock grants and then called it quits last year. I realized that what I really wanted was to be of service to my parents taking care of them and engaging them mentally and physically while exploring my own hobbies and passions.
Only six years! Color me impressed.
It certainly helps to be frugal and occupy yourself with the simple pleasures in life.
For sure
So true Anita. I’m only semi-retired, I work 20 hours a week at my W2 job. I have no idea how I had the time to do the things I’m doing when I was working 40. And I can’t wait until I fully retire and free up those last 20 hours. Obesity just hit 40% in America, it’s a sad statistic. I’m a hundred percent convinced the vast majority of people who are obese would have a much easier time getting down to a healthy weight if they just didn’t have to work as much.
Just curious what your sister does since she likes her job.
She works at Google doing something. Honestly, unless you’re a dentist or a racecar driver, I have a hard time understanding/picturing/explaining what anyone does.
Your last sentence is spot on. Maybe we’re being naive, but I’d be very curious to see what happens in a society with a basic income.
“For an introvert, I can only handle so much.” So incredibly true. I’ve started making a real effort to be frank with people when I turn down invitations or social engagements for this reason. Instead of making up an excuse, I straight out tell them I need to recharge by spending some time by myself.
I think people understand for the most part.
I think it’s a lionfiah.
I’ve never heard of that animal. It sounds fierce. Unless you mean lionfish. I’ve heard of that one. Still sounds fierce.
I agree — I was going to comment that I thought it was a lionfish. But I saw this other commenter had already said that.
I just googled lionfish and it was not what I pictured. It does rather look like that towel.
Stingray!
Totally possible. You’re the sailor and expert. 🙂
For someone still working, a social activity a day sounds downright exhausting. The weeks were I have more than two are a bit much. Often my husband and I will make up excuses for why we can’t go out, because all we really want to do is order in and watch tv. It’s not the physical energy, it’s the mental taxation. I have more free time now at a corporate job than I had as a starbucks barista, and I think I had more mental energy then to go out with friends.
I can really relate to this song by Julia Michaels
Oh, I try my best just to be social
I make all these plans with friends and hope they call and cancel
Then I over-think about the things I’m missing
Now I’m wishing
I was with them
I love it when people cancel on me and I get to stay home and introvert. No FOMO and I can be lazy.
With all of your spare time not wasted on working, you’re now in the enviable position of becoming an influencer. Think of the positive influence you could have on other people who need to see you what you have accomplished. There are multitudes of wayfaring souls who could benefit from your input. A lot of them are not privy to this blog. So go to some high schools and colleges and proselytize.
Speaking in front of people makes me nervous. :-/ With all their eyes looking at me. Oh dear.
I think I gave you this advice sometime back…..you can influence and improve so many lives…
Perhaps. I’m pretty content with my quiet, little life.
I think it is a butterfly
Me too! Just gotta change your prespective and look at it from above instead
Change your perspective seems to be the answer to a lot of things in life. 🙂
Oooh. I’m throwing my lot in with this answer.
I think it’s a flying fish
I was just thinking yesterday on my long drive home from work that working is my excuse for not having time to socialize or work out. Or do chores. That if I didn’t work I’d be confronted with that truth of its excuse.
I bet you’d find you had so much more time to do things. But yeah, chores are still a pain.
So now I’m wondering what your sister thinks about your early retirement.
I think she thinks my life is maybe too simple and thinks I should have saved more money. She dislikes my apartment greatly. 🙂
Your writing style has always resonated with me and I have now read this post 3 times today. This is exactly what I have had trouble articulating to people regarding my pursuit of early retirement. The possibilities of the morning are endless, but after dealing with all the stimulations of work plus two rush-hour commutes, honking horns, sirens, loud music, construction zones, I am just… done. As an introvert I have to explain that my desire to shut the door and be left the hell alone for a few hours is not laziness, it is a necessity. Your writing reminds me that I’m not so alone in the way I feel. Thank you for this article, and please keep writing.
Nothing makes me happier than when something I write resonates. Thanks for taking the time to comment and I’m glad you understand. Just think of how much energy you’ll have when you retire! It’s going to be awesome.
We spend more time alone than humans have at any other point in history, the odd hermit aside. I don’t think it’s healthy for us, and I consider myself fairly solitary. We’ve stopped (in the US) know ing how just to hang out like humans have for most of our time on this planet. It’s always networking, working intensely with strangers, playing sports etc. I love my relatives in other countries who haven’t lost this art, and for whom it’s a deep part of their culture.
Nighthawks is our national picture indeed, and no wonder we have such high rates of suicide and depression.
Late stage capitalism, I think.
If I go more than 24 hours without seeing another human being, I get antsy and start twitching.
Then you are certainly not an introvert. People think they are introverts, but maybe they are actually responding to the unnatural and stressful way we socialize and have relationships in modern America.
Notably, people in most other cultures don’t crave alone time; there’s not even a concept of it in many. I think we need to dig deeper into why so many Americans categorize themselves this way, and look into what’s really going on.
According to the book Quiet by Susan Cain, an introvert is someone who is recharged by being alone. An extrovert is someone who is recharged by being with other people. I think one can still crave the company of others after too long and be an introvert!
Finance is one major issue for working but there are many others associated with it. We get to see and interact so many people while we are working. We get a sense of pride that we are achieving something and when we finish a target, we make friends at work with whom we share, we travel with them, have occasions to celebrate…though we reach a finance target set, reasons like this pull us back from retiring…..but completely agree with you that all energy will be gone in work and tasks associated with it…..too tiring..
I think its a Cuttlefish
Hmm, I don’t see it, to be honest.
I think about this question a lot. Even though I’m still employed full time, I’ve gotten used to working from home and the associated freedom that enables to get errands and chores done during the day so I can pursuit my interests during evenings and weekends. I marvel at how other people somehow manage to work a traditional 9 to 5 job with a commute and still have the energy to go out and do things in the evening. Like you, I’m an introvert and I rarely have the motivation to leave the house after being around people all day. I look forward to the day when working full time becomes optional.
The two times I did feel like I had energy was when working nontraditional jobs with the irregular hours (flight attendant and writer), so I think autonomy and freedom in your job goes a long way. Flexibility.
Yes! As someone who is still working, this is how I feel. There simply aren’t enough hours in the day to devote to paid work and all of the other people and endeavors I value. I’m working on replacing tv with more productive tasks, but sometimes there are not enough spoons (google “spoon theory” of the reference is unfamiliar).
I love spoon theory. You only have so many spoons of energy in a given day. That’s exactly how I feel.
I second guessed the spoon theory reference because it’s meant to express some of the challenges experienced by folks with chronic pain or invisible disabilities (which I don’t think I have or in any event, are not diagnosed). So, apologies if that was offensive. But I do feel like the concept sort of applies universally. Certain days take more out of me, whether that’s because of the substance of what I did or because I worked longer than usual. The difference is maybe I have more spoons, a more predictable amount of spoons and/or can more easily borrow from future spoons.
I don’t think the spoon theory is reserved for people with chronic illnesses. We all have only a certain number of spoons each day. Zero offense here!
So I am not sure that living an overly deliberative life is a good idea. It smacks of individualism and the sense that you can be in control of everything. Working life is in fact full of effort, face-time, planning, and self-assertion and their constant and utter failures thereof. And then you die.
I’ve just finished reading 1984, and seeing how clearly Orwell recognized that by impoverishing language we can impoverish human thought, and applying this in the reverse, I am strongly in favor of adding new words and expressions to the language to express the reality of financial independence plus early retirement and the resultant freedoms.
Here are some new words I propose:
Well-think – positive, non-deliberative expectation or anticipation of a future event
Un-planned day , or Unday –.a normal day in the calendar other than a holiday, ie. every day
Six-packing – being kind to your body and moving it with joy instead of sitting on your a** all day
Shakespeare made up words. You’re like Shakespeare! Also, you can say ass in the comments. I don’t mind. 🙂