My fiance and I are throwing a grand celebration soon. We’re in love and hope to remain that way for the rest of our lives and we’d like to profess that belief in front of everyone we know.
What should I wear?
Now that I kind of know how to sew, I understand why wedding dresses are expensive and I expected to shell out some cash. I wanted, even, to spend more than I’ve ever spent on a single item of clothing, for this wedding dress.
I just didn’t expect them to be that expensive.
The Willa dress by Savin London
Of course, I picked up my one-mile project and went to all the bridal stores in my neighborhood. I fell in love with a flowy wedding dress from Savin London called Willa. It’s white with a splash of color. Not super traditional, but I love it. It checks all my boxes and is 100% the dress I want.
This picture is NOT the Savin London Willa dress, just another dress I found pretty.
Unfortunately, buying good quality material is expensive and the skill it takes to make such a complicated dress isn’t cheap either, so the Savin London dress is pricey. I spent countless hours online searching for a cheaper duplicate, but only came across scammy websites.
But this Willa dress! It’s so gorgeous. It’s so hard finding an outfit that feels like a wedding dress, but with a bit of color. I wanted the color as a nod to my Indian heritage. Brides in India wear red.
So I lusted over this dress for weeks. I thought about “saving” money from what I’m “allowed” to spend and cutting back on everything else. I considered it. Honestly, I really had to talk myself out of it, even. It doesn’t fit my brand. I’m Thriftygal! I can’t spend $8,600 on a dress!!! Can I? I about blew my mind when I calculated the opportunity cost of keeping that money in VTSAX instead. $8,600 doesn’t even include alterations!
I could absolutely afford it. But I couldn’t stomach paying such a large sum for an outfit that I would wear only once.
Eventually, I found a used version of the dress online for $3,320 plus who knows for shipping plus who knows for customs fee as it’s currently in Ireland. With alterations, it would be another who knows how much. I don’t even know if I can alter this already-altered dress properly. My mother thinks used wedding dresses are gross and stupid.
Season by Madi Lane
I expanded outside of a mile radius of my house and found another beauty for a quarter of the price. At $2,399, it was still the most expensive article of clothing I’d ever buy, but it seemed like a bargain next to the Willa dress. It’s lovely, maybe 80% of what I want.
It’s Season by Madi Lane. White dress with a pop of color. You can tell my taste. It’s pretty, but it didn’t capture my heart the way Willa did.
Again, the next picture is not the Madi Lane, just a picture to break up the text.
Andrea & Leo Couture Dress A1133
The final dress I found was a prom dress, but it was white with a splash of color. It didn’t have the word “wedding” in it and didn’t have a feminine name assigned to it, so it wasn’t priced in the four digits. I found it online and went to visit my sister in San Jose to try it on at a store, paying $20 for the appointment.
The return policy on the website to get it in my size was rather sketch, only offering store credit to return it after deducting the “free” shipping. But if I get it, I don’t plan on returning it, so maybe okay?
The fabric felt cheap and the shiny bits were glued on, but nobody is going to be inspecting it that closely, right? It’s a lovely dress, perhaps 60% of what I want. For such a pricey dress ($400 is still the most I’ve ever spent on an article of clothing), the construction wasn’t great. Seams didn’t line up and lay flat. I found myself making a lot of excuses for this dress.
Not the Andrea and Leo Couture dress.
So below are the three dresses and the game. One picture is a $8,590 Willa dress by Savin London. Another picture is the $2,399 Season dress by Madi Lane. Another picture is the $420 Andrea & Leo Couture prom dress from the internet. Which one’s which? Can you guess without looking them up online? I’ll give you the answer in the comments when I wake up.
Dress #1
Dress #2
And dress #3
Which one did I end up picking? I actually don’t know yet because I haven’t made a decision.
Oh, and this is just one of the outfits I’m going to be wearing. It’s a three-day event with Indian clothes as well.
And I have to consider a veil ($2,100 for the Willa veil). A tiara, maybe. Or something to put in my hair. I’ll probably need shoes. Jewelry.
Oh man.
Another thing to keep in mind, too, is that I can probably sell the dress for about half when the wedding is done. Well, maybe. I’m pretty short and small, so size-wise my pool of potential buyers is pretty limited and these dresses aren’t to everyone’s taste, shrinking the pool even more.
Congrats! I like dress #1, you look like a perfect wedding cake topper. 🙂 It’s very flattering.
Thank you!
Dress #1 – Willa by Savin London – $8k
Dress #2 – Season by Madi Lane – $2k
Dress #3 – Andrea and Leo Couture – $400
They are all nice but always go with the dress that makes you look and feel the best. The name brands don’t matter. Also, J Crew, in the past used to have some very nice wedding dresses.
J. Crew? Looks like they’re discontinued. Anthropologie has wedding dresses, butnothing with color right now.
Dress #1 looks like underwear, Dress #3 looks like a shower curtain. Dress #2 lovely.
Hi TG. I think you should buy the $8k dress if it’s the one you want. Don’t compromise on your big day 🙂
Fwiw I think dress 1 is the nicest but I’m not known for my wedding dress expertise
Thank you!
Favourite Aunt and long long time friend here. Just celebrated our 30th anniversary. The best piece of advice I had was that it’s not the wedding that’s important, it’s the marriage. My dress was a borrowed one from a cousin. I still felt like I was the centre of attention on the day and the photos look great (after a few years you won’t look at them very often!) I was thrilled not to have to spend anything on something that I would only wear once.
Dress 2 is the expensive one that you really want, dress 3 a potential alternative, dress 1 is not really doing it.
I’m sure that you could afford the most expensive one, but ultimately you will look fabulous in whatever you wear. Wishing you all the happiness in the world and thank you for your blog and your book.
Completely agree! The wedding is one weekend compared to a lifetime of marriage.
Thank you, Debbie! Both for being a long-time reader and your kind words. It’s so nice hearing people’s opinions!
I think Dress #2 is the expensive one. I am pretty good with fabrics, and have watched countless “Say Yes to the Dress” episodes, and I cannot tell the difference between the other two. Don’t get the really expensive one, you will realize later that it isn’t worth it. Also, don’t pay $2000 for a veil. Older brides often don’t wear a full veil, or just have a plain white thing hanging down from their bun or French twist in the back. You can find a plain veil for a bargain, or make your own. I was told that tulle has a limited lifespan, so that veils are often only ironed two times. Once for your pre-wedding photos, when they used to be in the newspaper, and once for the wedding. After that, they are limp. Good luck, and don’t regret your decision, life is too short.
Definitely waffling on the veil, but leaning towards no.
#2 is the Willa dress probably, the colors and design are beautiful
Close! #2 is embroidered. #1 is hand painted.
#2 is you
Thank you!
Judging by interior of shops, 2nd is nicest, 1st is the middle price, 3rd is the cheapie.
Both of the first 2 look really nice.
Congratulations!
But in the first picture, I have two people helping me! That screams expensive, right? 🙂
Most expensive: 2
Least expensive: 3
Can’t really judge if you can’t feel the fabric.
Anyway, when in doubt, don’t spend 8.000 on a dress. Think about how you will feel about the dress on day D+1
The fabric on #3 felt really cheap.
Congrats on your engagement! I hope planning for the wedding won’t be too stressful 🙂
I suspect Dress 2 is the Willa dress by Savin London. It’s certainly my favourite but that’s because red is my favourite colour and I find that shade of red captivating lol.
I think Dress 1 is the Season by Madi Lane (my 2nd favourite) and I think Dress 3 is the prom one.
I suggest going with whichever dress makes you feel the happiest and most comfortable.
It’s been so fun planning so far! Thanks for the advice. 🙂
#1 is the expensive one
#3 is the cheap one
I think #2 suits you best but in general I wouldn’t spend that much on a dress/wedding , use the money for an over-the-top honeymoon 🙂
You nailed it.
Congratulations on your engagement! Have you thought about having a tailor make a dress for you? I fell in love with one that cost more than I wanted to spend when I was planning my wedding nine years ago, I think it cost $2800. I found a seamstress to make me something similar but I requested silk instead of a synthetic fabric, added pockets and made a few other changes. It was made to fit me so I didn’t have to pay for alterations and it cost me less than $800. It still felt extravagent but I’m glad it had something well made that felt comfortable and didn’t fall apart during the celebration. Thank you so much for sharing your deliberations with us, it’s fun to follow along!
Thanks for the suggestion! And I’m super happy you’re interested in following along with me. 🙂
Think 2nd one is willa, beautiful
Another vote for #2! I’m tallying them.
You shared the pics in order, #1 is the most expensive. I see why you love it, it’s gorgeous and you look great in it, but my pick is #2 — you look like an absolute princess in #2. My opinion isn’t the one that counts though! Go with the one that makes your heart sing, money is also meant to be enjoyed. So go ahead and enjoy it. Congratulations on your engagement 💖
Thanks! The consensus seems to be #2. LOL. Appreciate the comment. 🙂
Congratulations! My favourite is Dress 2. I paid 120usd for my wedding dress in 2019. Spend whatever amount you wish. You are already good with money.
Appreciate the permission. 🙂
#2 is absolutely gorgeous and clearly your fav ;).
#3 is clearly the prom dress so I (imho) wouldn’t go with that one. I’m surprised at the price tag based on this picture, but maybe it looks better in person.
As a fellow lean FI gal, I had this same difficult choice for my wedding (10 years ago). We had just decided to start following the Law of the Mustache and wanted to get to FI as soon as possible. I cut out a lot ruthlessly and still had a lovely 100 person event. My goal was the keep the ENTIRE wedding cost under $10,000 and we snaked by at $7,000. (10 years ago money).
Of course, a $7,000 wedding is not possible with an $8,000 dress. So the question you must ask yourself is what is most important to you? Creating a beautiful event with lovely memories doesn’t have to involve a hefty price tag. That said, you’re FI and can choose what is the most important memory to you. Wearing the expensive dress for one day? What about the other 2 days? I promise, there are tons of dresses that will make you feel beautiful for a day. You can even add some color yourself, though of course it’s not quite the same as this photo. I added a red belt and red shoes to my dress.
For my case, I went to an off the rack bridal store, refused to try on any dresses over $1,000 and found my choice for $600. I left room for alterations in the budget, but I happened to find one that didn’t need any! That dress was sold on consignment 5 years later for $175 (my half, so $350 total). I don’t miss having to keep a dress in my closet and I have the wonderful photos forever.
Lastly on the wedding experience, you will have 3 days of events to create memories. My budget went towards booking an entire estate so the wedding party would stay together the entire weekend. It was worth more than the dress, in more ways than one. I know there are lots of decisions to make. Remember what matters to you and focus on that! Best of luck!
This event would be completely different if I was still trying to reach FI. 🙂
Thanks for the thoughtful and long comment.
I had a friend who found a website of seamstresses in China, sent them several pictures of the exorbitantly expensive dress she liked, paid $50 (ten years ago), and waited for several months. She then received a replica of that dress in the mail and it was beautiful and looked the same as the inspiration dress.
May be worth a shot if you can spare the time.
$50! Thanks for the suggestion!
I have a friend who did the same and you would have never guessed, she looked stunning.
I also think #2 is the nicest but would definitely try getting the same result from a seamstress in good quality material, maybe even so, that parts can be detached so the base can be worn on occasions where you just wanna look pretty in a silk dress. I love combinations and clever ideas.
Our wedding was small and we were in a rush so I ended up wearing a vintage silk dress.
We plan on celebrating our 10th anniversary as the big event – I also think that the marriage itself counts way more than just the beginning of it… – for that I plan to have such a silk dress.
Wishing you all the best, long time reader here, too ☀️
Thanks for the comment and the vote. I think I’ve been swayed. 🙂
You fortunately look stunning in all of them. But, you in dress #1 at the top, blew me away with how elegant you look! Do not settle, get the dress you want.
Yes! Thanks for the vote.
My guess :
#2- $8,590 Willa dress by Savin London. Looks like the highest quality to me and it has the beautiful rich red in it
#1 $2,399 Season dress by Madi Lane.
#3- $420 Andrea & Leo Couture prom dress.
I love that you are doing this game and spending time deciding. It is all apart of the experience and memory.
I didn’t put much time into my wedding dress looking. I took the first one I liked from the first store I went to and barely had time for alterations. It was a $500 dress. Actually, I did buy a dress online first and it was $100 because I was like, no way going to pay a lot for something I would wear once. The online dress was horrible. The $500 dress in comparison was a dream.
But, I didn’t love my pictures. I still don’t look at them today. Not because of my dress choice though. The biggest reasons is because I chose to wear my hair in a way that wasn’t me. Each time I see my pictures, I don’t recognize the person in them because of what I chose to do with my hair.
So, if this helps, choose YOU. Choose the dress (and hair style) that makes you feel like YOU. Plain and simple. I think the $8k sounds like you. So just do it. Not everything is about saving money or the investment. You are choosing you for the most important day of your life and the reinvestment and the return is the pictures and the lifelong memory.
Please know that all of this brings a tear to my eye when I write. I choose everyday to watch my money. I have a LOT saved up. I am not thrifty gal, but I understand the feeling of considering spending vs investing and keeping my spending to a minimum. I wish I would have chose ME 12 years ago.
Wow, thanks for the lovely comment. Lots to think about!
#2, but no headress. Congrats! You look spectacular!!
Yeah, I’m leaning away from the veil. Thank you!!
Without thinking of the costs I like 2 Best, 3 Second and 1 Last.
Thanks for the vote! How interesting!
First – The Game
I thought – 1 Willa, 2 Andrea & Leo, 3 Season
And I’ve looked up the answers so I can see how right/wrong I was!
Then – The Dress
1 You’ll think about the dress before the wedding.
2 The wedding itself will fly by, and you won’t think about what you’re wearing except when people tell you how amazing you look.
3 Afterwards you’ll want the one that looks best in the photos – and that’s not necessarily the one that looks best in real life.
Erin’s comment is a great idea. You should be able to get something that’s exactly what you want and fits perfectly for much less than you’d pay at a shop.
Finally – FI & ThriftyGal Stuff
“I could absolutely afford it. But I couldn’t stomach paying such a large sum for . . .”
This resonates with me – about all sorts of things. Old habits and mindsets die hard I suppose. Has anyone here had experience of this and moved on to another way of thinking? And, if so, how was the experience for you?
“At $2,399, it was still the most expensive article of clothing I’d ever buy, but it seemed like a bargain next to the Willa dress”
That’s (financial) framing for you. But, rather than the retailer doing it to you, you’ve done it to yourself! What would you have been happy to pay before you started looking for dresses?
Postscript
You’re obviously going to look beautiful whatever dress you choose. You’re one of those people who were born lucky in that way.
This is spot on, Mis Nomer. It also reminds me that in every episode of Say Yes To The Dress I ever watched, brides always came in with a dress budget, and the store would start bringing dresses at the top end, plus a little more.
Given that you’re trying on dresses you just like, money isn’t perhaps your first constraint, so you should go with the 100% dress.
I remember being younger wondering why anyone would pay so much for a wedding dress on Say Yes to the Dress. Now I get it! Ha.
I didn’t have a number! I wanted to splurge, but had no idea the range.
And your last sentence is one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. 🙂
Omg, our Thriftygal is getting maaarrried! I’m so happy for you and your fiancè. It’s just amazing seeing the progression of your life.
I actually like dress #2 with your coloring, with a veil. It has visual impact. Dress number one is lovely and flutter-y, but is very light pastel.
The thing is, you said number 2 didn’t capture your heart the way number 1 did, so that should be your guide. With the price difference , it might be worth a trip to the Big City to find a better deal on it. (Where’s Filene’s Basement wedding dress section when you need it).
Thanks for articulating why you like #2 better. I love the pastel in #1, but am realizing it’s not for everyone. 🙂
You look absolutely beautiful in every single one of those dresses. Being old and way past my own ceremony, I’d suggest the cheapest one and use the leftover $$$ for life experiences. Ten years from now, you and no one else will care too much about the dress.
If you have to have a choice, I liked Emma&Grace followed by #2. But they are all marvelous.
Thanks for the vote! I suspect that you’re right that nobody will care in ten years.
Mazel Tov!
Thank you!
This is such a fun post! I didn’t read the whole thing before searching for each dress as I read about them, so I cheated myself out of guessing!
I got married in my backyard in a small ceremony and had a larger dinner reception after. Like you, I am petite. The first place I went was David Bridal (I know, I know). I tried on the smallest one I could find that I liked and it basically fell off of me. It wasn’t a fun experience. Though no less basic of me, I ended up getting a pretty and simple dress from the mall. Regardless, it looked beautiful and I felt great in it. If you’re comfortable with the cost, the most important factor is how it makes you feel.
Honestly, you look stunning in all of these! Excited for you!
Ok, I see you are accepting votes 🙂 Mine is for #2!
Based on everyone who commented, emailed, and texted, I’m at 24 votes for dress #2 and 8 votes for dress #1. Thanks for voting!
I did look at David’s Bridal and tried on several, but they didn’t have any dresses with color!
Wow, yeah, that makes it a way more challenging search. And it will make the one you choose even more special!
In two decades, you won’t notice the difference between your net worth being $6,000,000 or $6,050,000 (my rough estimate of the opportunity cost of purchasing the dress you really want). In fact, by then there will be days when your net worth will increase or decrease by more than that amount.
The common theme among my thrifty friends is that we erred on the side of caution and could have indulged in a few more luxuries. No regrets, but if we had any it wouldn’t be that we purchased something that we really wanted.
You’ve already done the hard work. The real “power of thrift” is that you can splurge on whatever wedding dress you want. If not that, then what is it?
Will you also be getting an all-red dress for one of the Indian ceremony days?
-Bob
Thanks, Bob! I really appreciate you articulating why I’m even remotely comfortable purchasing the expensive dress.
And I haven’t picked out my sari for the Indian part of the wedding. I’m leaning towards pink, but haven’t really started looking. I might go traditional and end up with red.
I think you should pick the dress that you want and the sari that your mom wants 😊
I’m wearing my mom’s wedding sari for one of the events. There are so many events. LOL.
I like good quality clothing (I owned an upscale women’s apparel boutique for more than 20 years), yet I’m practical. I couldn’t spend $8,000 or even $2,000 on a wedding dress I’d wear for one day. You know how they say, when you are buying a house, don’t fall in love with the house? There are so many houses out there to get excited about. Continue looking. You’ll find something less expensive that you love and look great in. Good luck and congrats. P.S. I’m so glad I am one of the “few” that still subscribe to your posts (according to your last post, anyway). I always read each post. And I retired early, too.
Thanks for being a long-time reader. I love hearing from you! Thanks for the advice.
Congrats! You can rent wedding dresses you know – several places online, and some cities have in-person rental businesses for formal wear. If you’re going to sell it after, why not just rent something? You can rent shoes, accessories, the whole kit.
I’ve looked, but haven’t been able to find anything I like! Thanks for the idea though. Maybe I can rent the accessories. 🙂
Dress Number 2 looks perfect on you, imo.
Thanks!
Eliminate dress 1—baby blue and pink doesn’t appeal (at least to me) for a wedding—actually it looks more more like a “quinceanera”-type dress . Of course, the second one is very pretty, but way too expensive. Number 3 looks quite nice in the photo and on you, despite the potential lack of quality, which doesn’t show in the photo.
One possibility is to add pearls of different sizes to the flowers of dress 3 for embellishment—not hard to do, just a bit time consuming—which will add a special touch (I have done this for a cocktail dress, and it made a simple dress quite special) ; or have someone do actual embroidery in red over some of the flowers, which will make the red pop out. At least where I live, there are seamstresses who will do this type of work for a reasonable price. I like to sew, and seams that may not be perfect are easy to fix—just carefully iron them, and sew over them with a small stitch, and iron again. Don’t be put off by an apparent lack of quality—some things are fixable, and you may be able to save quite a bit of money. Congratulations—I have been married for 54 years, and my Mom made my wedding dress.
Thanks for the suggestion! That could be a fun project for the dress. 🙂
I especially love the first two dresses and think they both look beautiful on you!! The third looks lovely too but the first two are just so gorgeous!
Sending you very best wishes for your happy day.
For our wedding day 13 years ago, I ordered my wedding dress from a preowned wedding dress resale website and it worked out great. The first one I ordered ended up being too small (I still have it because I never got around to reselling it – it was about $200 or so). I ordered another dress after that one and it fit perfectly and looked perfect on the day. 🙂 I was SO happy with it. My memory is that it was in the $400 range. But these were plain white dresses without the pop of color. But with very pretty beading!
But just wanted to mention in case someone might be reselling a dress similar to your dream dress as a pre-owned dress for a lot less money? (Although if it didn’t fit right or didn’t look right maybe you couldn’t return it which would be the downside).
My only additional (unasked for!) suggestion is to not skimp on the photography. We went with a friend of a family member who did wedding photography “on the side” from his job as a police officer. Big mistake and sadly he never delivered on the photos he took! (Not sure how he lost them!) So our wedding photos consisted primarily of collecting up all the ones people had taken on their personal cameras. But while I was definitely sad to not have the ‘professional’ pictures, 13 years later the strong marriage itself was worth so much more and I look back on that day as the happiest of my life. 🙂 No matter what happens it is the start of a joyful life together! Congrats!
Yes! There’s one on Stillwhite.com that’s used of dress #1. It’s not perfect, but I think it’s alterable.
Thanks for the advice on pictures. We haven’t gotten that far yet, but are leaning towards pros. 🙂
#2 wins, in my opinion! You look stunning in it! But that said, you should wear what you feel most confident in.
I also think that spending a lot of money on a dress (or a wedding for that matter) is a waste of money.
Thanks for the vote!
My vote is #2 also, however, you look fabulous in them all… and, I second the professional photographer advice…Congratulations and love your blog for years…so honest and inspiring!🌺
Thank you!! Appreciate the vote and your readership. 🙂
I absolutely love dress #2 on you. You look like a queen. It is gorgeous! As for the price tag, my wedding dress was off a clearance rack and was only $380 but that was in 1998. Although the $2k price of #2 is high, you can afford it and it really is an awesome dress. I don’t think I could personally pay $8k for a dress though, so I get it!
Like others have said, I enjoy following along with your process. I’ve been a long time reader so I really enjoy reading about the new developments in your life.
Awesome! This makes me so happy. I’m starting to come around on the dress.
Congratulations! You look awesome in all!
Thank you!
I’d recommend getting the dress that makes you feel the most special, because you will remember that feeling for a long time to come. You may even find that you don’t want to sell it after your wedding! One great piece of advice I heard while wedding planning is not to consider what others want or what things look like, because the lasting memory/impression will be how it felt. Definitely don’t get the cheapest dress because you won’t be comfortable in it!
Thanks for the lovely comment. Lots to think about!
The first dress is delightful and fresh looking. It is also delicate and flattering. The others are nice but. . . So I hope that the first is the frugal, but. . . who knows.
Congrats and may blessings find you always.
I agree!
Which one can you see yourself dancing in? Eating in? Accidentally spilling something on? Life (and weddings!) are messy and fun, so it helps to be confident AND somewhat comfortable.
(I have no money saving tips, except to skip the veil if you’re waffling)
(lots of love to you, thriftygal)
Thanks, friend! Good advice. 🙂