I recently spent five months in the Denver area. I shared with you my Denver bucket list in a previous post. In this post, I’ll tell you how I fared. Whoop!
1. Cross off bucket list item #44 (fall responsibly in love).
I did not cross this off. I didn’t come even remotely close to crossing this off and I’m more than a little forlorn about the whole thing. Since I want my blog to be a happy place, I applaud my attempt. It was a notable effort and I’m proud of myself. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.
2. Go out on ten dates.
Haha. Ten dates! I’m laughing because I really debated with myself when setting these numbers back in March. Arrogant jackass that I am, I really thought that if I read the right books and made the right lists and just fucking tried, I would find someone to call my significant other quickly. It’s so easy for almost everyone else! My initial impulse was to write down four dates. Hah. Haha! In the end, I went out on more than forty.
This isn’t a good bucket list item. This is a terrible bucket list item.
3. Go to a bar by myself and smile at a guy. Per Patty’s suggestion.
I didn’t do this. I put it on my list because it sounded terrifying. In the end, it was a bit too terrifying.
4. Cross off bucket list item #6 (write a book).
Gaaaaaaaaaah. Everything takes so much longer than I think it’s going to. I thought I would get this done in May. Ha! Now I know for book two. Things take time. Each step takes so much time. But soon. So very, very soon.
For the time-being, my book quite enjoys living on my computer where it’s safe. Safety is an underrated quality.
5. Read 15 books.
Too easy.
6. Do some hiking. Colorado has some great hiking.
Yes! My favorite part of this bucket list. There’s something about being in nature that makes everything better. Whenever I was in Boulder, I’d take the best dog in the world and we’d go on daily two to three hour hikes in the trails around his house. Happiness!
My father considers a walk among the mountains as the equivalent of churchgoing — Aldous Huxley
7. Get to know the city using a bike.
Denver isn’t as flat as Chicago. I biked, but not nearly as much as I could have. I’m not giving myself credit for this item.
8. Make Denver feel like home.
No. That didn’t happen. Five months was too short and I was still too transient. I spent too much time flitting from place to place and one would never know if I was in North Denver or Boulder or Arvada or South Denver.
To make Denver feel like home, I need to rent an apartment, fill it with my stuff and commit to staying. I think that may also be the secret to crossing off bucket list item #44. Real roots.
It says RIP blue mailbox. I love the solemnity of it.
9. Go bowling. You didn’t do that in California.
In the future, bowling should occur as a group activity or a solo activity. It’s not a two-person activity and it makes for a terrible date activity.
10. And roller skating.
Yes! I did something called Rolldenver. It’s a once a month party for people over 21 with lights and music and alcohol. It’s like a bar, but everyone is wearing roller skates. I didn’t drink though because that seemed kind of dangerous.
11. How about mini putting? You haven’t done that in a few years.
Mini putting is a good date activity, but also not an activity I think I’d want to do more than once every ten years.
12. Decide if you like Boulder or Denver better.
Boulder is certainly special with some glorious hiking trails that you can get to without a car. I always enjoyed my days in Boulder, but I spent way more time in Denver and felt way more comfortable in Denver. I found it much easier to make friends in Denver. Most people are transplants and happy to expand their social circle.
13. See a show at Redrocks.
Redrocks is an outdoor amphitheater. I saw Rusted Root and the Spin Doctors. I’ve heard of them.
14. Hang out with Mr. Money Mustache once.
Here’s a pic.
Fun fact: Zeona was the subject of Mr. Money Mustache’s latest article.
15. Go to Casa Bonita. Remember that episode of South Park?
I had this on my calendar to do with a meetup group, but whenever I talked about doing it with anyone who had done it, they would make a face and declare the item a good bucket list one to get over with. It’s hard to get excited when confronted with that face so often.
Didn’t do.
16. Visit a cat cafe.
Not as fun as I would have expected. Maybe I didn’t interact with the right cats. I still like the idea of it.
A kitty at the cat cafe.
17. Go to a silent disco party.
Didn’t do.
18. Play some games at Punchbowl Social.
I went on a bunch of dates here. There are a lot of fun activities to do here besides food and drink. They have giant Jenga, ping-pong, the aforementioned bowling, bags (a.k.a. cornhole) and tons of other games.
19. Draw at a puff and paint class.
Didn’t do.
20. Attend a cuddle party.
Didn’t do.
21. Go to a music festival of sorts.
Didn’t do.
22. Hike a 14er.
Didn’t do.
Man, I really ran out of steam there at the end. I’ll be back though. I’ll be back so ridiculously fast. Everyone will be like, did she even leave? Denver is great.
Hey, I came across your blog last week. I’m just writing to say keep it up, I find what your doing and writing about very interesting. I would have thought that number 3 was the easiest on your list! Try this for goal. Only go on a maximum of one date per month for 6 months. Things generally happen when you’re not really looking.
Thanks! Your encouragement is much appreciated. I like the idea of one date a month. Thinking about it too much isn’t working. But if I’m not careful and don’t think about it, I do nothing about it.
The solution to your #1 lies in #6.
I could totally see that.
I don’t see how number 3 is more terrifying than item 2. Item 2 is waaay beyond item 3, no?
With number three, you already have the date. You set it up beforehand. Number two involves eye contact with strangers. Scary!
i forget who the author is but she wrote a book about seizing an opportunity while it is right there in front of you. she was chastised by many women who say she set back feminism decades by her statements. she was referring to finding a husband during her college years, i think it was at the Wharton School of Business University of Pennsylvania maybe? i think her logic made perfect sense. at no other time in her life would she be in the company of such highly intelligent, highly qualified pool of available single candidates. pre-screened pre-filtered by the schools rigorous academic qualifications. for some people, natural selection happens without much thought. for those not interested, not paying attention, or so goal oriented their focus is so small; the window of opportunity is filled w/other items, it doesn’t happen naturally. for someone who has lived in Chicago, attended law school and worked/lived in Sydney Australia, and still did not bump into any contenders, you probably weren’t paying attention. i think being physically available in the same spot is a big part of landing Mr. Right. but being emotionally available is just as important and having future goals in common. i think setting roots so Mr. Right knows where to find you is a great start. here’s to you finding Mr. Right before the next eclipse Anita. (18 mo somewhere on the planet but 7 years in the U.S. i think…you pick)
Well, it’s a little late for me to find someone from college or law school as those periods in my life are done. I’m really really hoping I find something meaningful in the next 18 months. Ugh, I can’t even imagine how annoyed I’m going to feel with the universe if I’m still alone in 18 months.
I’ve been in a relationship for seven years, but I think that the secret is to be truly happy and fulfilled solo prior to getting into a relationship. Another person can’t make you happy- we have to find that ourselves, and once we do, it seems like potential mates arrive like bees to honey.
There’s nothing in life one NEEDS a partner for- kids, companionship, socializing- that can all be done solo. Think about WHAT you want from a partner in your life, and find in yourself and your own life while you are still single. Arbitrary time frames like 18 months create serious pressure on both you and a potential mate. I know it sounds trite, and maybe you aren’t looking for advice, but tend your own garden- that way you will be happy solo and also more likely to find someone.
I agree with this, but I also think I’m super happy with my life too. Just a bit lonely and deprived of human contact.
That’s hard if you move around a lot, honestly, and some places are friendlier than others. Have you thought of finding a great social set, not focusing just on a partner? Sounds like a Denver permamove might solve this.
I lived in Chicago for eight years, and unless you are into sports and beer it seemed a bit socially devoid. Denver is WAY better.
I’ve loved the people I befriended in Denver. And I’m in Chicago right now and seeing old friends. I love them too. The world is full of so many excellent people.
I can relate to #6. This Summer, I’ve taken myself on walks on hiking trails as well. Love it!
It’s restorative, isn’t it? Like restorative to your mental health. And probably physical health too.
My wife is a Harvard graduate and super successful surgeon. She too decided to try “falling in love” through the same methodical, disciplined, cerebral method one might use to calculate their finances or perform a surgery. Clearly it’s a numbers game or simply placing yourself in the right environment, etc etc. She felt it was “time” for her to fall in love now that she was finished with schooling and a successful surgeon so, therefore, she would forthrightly make it happen. Only, it didn’t happen. It doesn’t happen on demand, or by design, it happens when it happens. On paper, there were many dates that should have “worked” for her. But, true love does not succumb to the rigors of math, or statistics or any other prescribed calculation. Nope. It happens when it happens (usually when you’re not looking). So after not finding love despite her best attempts and calculations she resigned herself to no longer looking, and that’s when it happen. We met and 7 weeks later we were engaged. Now we have a beautiful little daughter. Sorry, but in my humble opinion…it happens when it happens.
Engaged after seven weeks! Incredible. Congratulations on the beautiful little daughter. 🙂
I love the idea of what you have been able to accomplish in such a short time! I’m ready to try though. But I get bogged down in the details: what to sell, what to keep, where to put the stuff I don’t sell, to keep a car or not , where to have a ‘base’. HELP!
What to sell: anything you can that doesn’t spark joy. Go read The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up
What to keep: whatever sparks joy.
Where to put the stuff you don’t sell: donate it or recycle it or condemn it to a landfill
To keep a car: If you can get rid of your car, get rid of it. Use walking, public transportation, biking, uber/lyft, zipcar, etc. to get around. Depends on where you live, of course. I think a car is a necessity some places.
Base: I don’t know