Here are my resolutions for June 2020.
Work out
Thankfully, I never stopped working out. I’m on day 99 of my streak. Hopefully, by the time you read this, I’ll be at 100 days!
Meditate
Meditation is also something I never stopped doing. It keeps me grounded and centered, helps me accept what I cannot change. I really think it has helped tremendously, letting myself feel content with whatever feeling I happen to be feeling at the moment, knowing it’s a part of the human experience and won’t last forever.
Work on my book for two hours
Hair did
I feel so much better about myself when my hair is done. For me, that means clean and straightened.
Morning Papers
Writing 750 words in the morning right after working out and meditating is a habit I have fallen out of. It’s a good way to journal and pass the time, mark the days, and spill my thoughts. I love doing it.
Take Vitamin D
Keep phone on “do not disturb”
I’m a little unsure about this resolution, but I hate how addicted to my phone I am. It always manages to make its way into my hands and then I find myself checking the same apps over and over again, rereading old texts, surfing garbage.
My plan is to keep my phone on Do Not Disturb and in the other room, except for an hour in the morning when I talk to certain friends and an hour in the evening to text and catch up. I’m hesitant because what if I miss something important or a last minute invite? We’ll see how this works.
No internet before noon
My ideal morning would be to work out, get up a good sweat as soon as I’m awake, then meditate, then write morning papers, then work on my book for a while, maybe take a masked walk. I hate trawling the internet mindlessly, continuously checking reddit.com/r/amitheasshole for whatever new dreck is available for me to consume.
Wake up with the sun
I think this resolution of waking up with the sun goes hand in hand with the vitamin D. I love hanging out with the sun and I hate going to bed late. I’m more productive in the morning. Every night, I plan to check when the sun is going to rise and set my alarm to wake up then. I’m not sure how I’m going to set an alarm when I’m keeping my phone off though.
No sugar
I’m trying to get back into the best shape of my life. I’m close! Close-ish. No sugar certainly helps.
Avoid the news
Reading the news is fascinating, but also really depressing. It’s not good for my mental health to be overly informed when I can’t do a damn thing about anything. I’m assuming someone will tell me when we’ve slayed this virus and I can live again.
Apply for one job
This resolution probably surprises you. Last year, I gave myself the deadline of the end of May 2020 to show someone my second book. If by May 31, 2020, I still hadn’t shown anyone anything, I had to look for a job.
Thoughts on how to do this?
I think it would be a good idea to break the link between the voice inside your head telling you what you wrote is crap and what you actually wrote. Get someone who doesn’t know you, such as a professional book editor, to read what you’ve wrote and give objective feedback. Thus would probably be terrifying for you but you might find it worthwhile after you have done it.
Phone/Internet addiction is doing to our attention spans/ability to concentrate what cigarettes does to our lungs. In 20 years time, phones will come with a health warning I’n convinced. I’m with you on struggling with this. It is keeping my poor reading habit poor.
You’re right that the idea is terrifying, but still probably something I should do. There are definitely parts of my draft books that I can read and appreciate as well written, but the actual stories feel a little thin.
I’m with you on the phone thing. My attention span is shot.
Candy? I thought you were trying to avoid sugar……
Sugar free candy, maybe? That sounds pretty gross.
Are you looking for paid work or volunteer work?
When I wrote this post, I was thinking about paid work, but I’m open to volunteering too. I took the coursera course on contact tracing for covid and applied to be a contact tracer last week as a volunteer. I still haven’t heard back though…
https://www.catchafire.org/ is a great way to volunteer virtually to help non profits.
Thank you for this!
I think you know your work has intrinsic value. Your readers can attest to that!
I’m struggling with a novel too, let me know if you are keen on working on some kind of mutual accountability system. I find it BRUTAL to discipline myself
I’m down. What did you have in mind?
Please don’t trash your own worth as a writer. My 17 year old son is in the midst of undertaking a project on FI. Having enjoyed your book I gave it to him as a starting point. He devoured it quickly and was very complementary about the style and easily understood content. Please allow yourself to be cool, indeed allow yourself some slack. Nothing lasts forever and this too will pass.
Wow, that genuinely made me tear up. Thanks so much for taking the time to tell me this! I’m so amazed at your son for thinking about the FI life so young!
This too shall pass is something I tell myself about a hundred times a day.
Awesome. I’m thinking establishing a daily word count target (e.g 500) and then emailing each other the day’s new work as proof? I’m in Aus timezone but I would aim to send by midnight each time. I’m currently slaving at the desk!
Oh, god, no. Sorry. I can’t stand the idea of sending someone my unvetted words!
Haha no worries, just a thought!
Sorry!
There are lots of people who have been hit harder than you have by the consequences of this virus – and – you’re going to look for a suitable job – so – what about some sort of voluntary work to help those more unfortunate than you?
You’re right! That’s why I feel so silly complaining. Literally everyone I’ve talked to is struggling right now. Volunteering does seem to be a recommended them in the comments section!
I’ve worked for nonprofits for 16 years. The first question is: how do you want to engage with a nonprofit? Do you want to work on the program or administrative side? Regardless, a great way to get a better sense of how nonprofits operate and to determine what positions interest you is to start volunteering at nonprofits. And right now, many are looking for volunteers. Certainly look at volunteering at nonprofits whose missions interest you, but also consider volunteering at others you may know nothing about. You’ll simultaneously explore different nonprofit fields, be able to start networking in the sector (nonprofit people are ALWAYS happy to talk to people interested in getting into the field), see what different positions there are within nonprofits, and gain experience to aid in a job search (nonprofits LOVE people who have nonprofit experience).
There are a lot of opportunities in nonprofits for people with law degrees in particular, if you still want to flex that muscle. From actually practicing law or advising legally, to working in development (fundraising). I know many people who earned their JD and now work for nonprofits.
II’m not as well versed in the political field, but obviously a national election year is a great time to volunteer for campaigns and get your foot in the door there.
Happy to discuss further as I’ve never gotten a job via a college recruiting fair and have been on the hiring side for many years.
Good luck in your search!
I’ve been volunteering for Planned Parenthood for six months now. First as an escort and then in the administrative side of things. I love their mission and would love to work for a similar organization (if not them specifically). I really appreciate you offering your time and advice and I’ll definitely reach out to take you up on that. Thank you!!
I just love this blog of yours. You have a great voice and honesty that’s halting for me at times.
I wonder if this FIRE thing has positive outcomes and negative outcomes. I think the problems are tied to a lack of purpose or a disengagement because you’ve satisfied your necessities.
I just listened to Joe rogan podcast with a guy who won a contest living outdoors in Canada for 77 days and that was far from the most unusual thing he’d ever done. He spoke about living with a nomadic tribe who herded reindeer in siberia. He said that some towns had formed from government assistance and some nomads had given up the nomadic life. He said that the nomads were happy and engaged. And that the townsfolk were beseiged by drink and depression, a lack of purpose.
There’s an underwater animal, forgive me for forgetting the name, that after birth finds a resting place where enough sustenance passes it that it can survive, and then it eats its own brain because it doesnt need to think anymore.
Last example. The first time bill Gates met Warren buffett, he told him about how terrible it is to give your children a ton of money. He shared statistics on outcomes that were rife with drugs and unhappiness.
Back to FIRE. I wonder if achieving financial independence and recogizing the pointlessness of material things beyond necessities actually results in disengagement.
Seems to me that successful FIRE folks find another purpose. Having children seems to be a common theme which is funny to me. Travel, getting in shape, hobbies, reading, don’t seem to do it. Starting a blog I think has worked for some. The children thing stands out though. If you think life is purposeless, then why does bringing another life into this world to experience that purposeless give someone purpose or a sense of purpose.
Maybe human life is inherently purposeless and we’re just the most recent efficient collection of molecules that the universe is trying at the moment. We just happen to have consciousness about it.
I don’t like to think that way. Om. Om is a beautiful thing. I literally sit in the park and hear trees rustle from a cool breeze while a gentle sun hits me and I’m present and appreciative and I smile, not forced, I just smile, happy.
There is a ton of beauty. There are funny people and hugs and cold days that make you appreciate a hot meal. I love beaches and boats and swimming.
None of that is inherently “purposed” but it makes me happy, sincerely deeply happy, not superficially-trying-to-force-myself-out-of-a-funk-happy.
Anywho… I suspect you’ve thought about all of this. I just wanted to share.
I really hope you get out of your funk. I don’t have advice on how to do it. Sorry. I want goodness for everyone. I hope you get peace of mind and some joy going soon.
Interesting… I have been a workoholic in my early life (that lasted over 20 years or so) then I deliberately started slowing down then retired to enjoy the life – main activity was travelling.
Now this Corona has messed it up but I am accepting that and staying put and just enjoy the local natural beauty which is aplenty here in the UK. I will be happy if I start to travel next year… Just accepting makes a difference and you do not worry much…
Acceptance is one of the pillars of joy and definitely something I struggle with. How long have you been traveling? Do you have someone to travel with? I traveled for 2.5 years after I retired and I found it so lonely.
Your comment is amazing. Thanks for taking the time to write it all out and to share what brings you joy. I’m envious of the simplicity. But it’s always the simple things, isn’t it?
I think this funk is directly tied to needing human contact and feeling lonely as fuck. Zoom video chats just don’t fill that void. I have too much time in my day to think now. It’s not a good thing. There are many days I want to eat my own brain.
Thanks for replying. I posted my comment initially without worry, and then got insecure that i put something revealing or vulnerable out there. Kudos to you to do that regularly!
“eat your own brain”. that made me laugh 🙂
FocusMate (focusmate.com) was game-changer for me in getting my first book draft written. As an introvert, I didn’t think I’d like it, but it’s wonderful and works remarkably well. You might want to give it a try!
I just watched the thirty second video on that website explaining the concept. You pick a time to work and they pair you up with someone else who is also working. You don’t talk, just hold each other accountable. I love the idea and am going to try it. Thanks for the suggestion! And huge congratulations on getting your first draft written!
I’ll second what a few others have said. I think you should truly consider sharing your work with a professional editor. Even if its one online who isn’t necessarily part of a publishing house. Another option could be taking an online university writing class. This would have the double benefits of structured writing and feedback. Maybe we’re all a little biased since we keep showing up for your posts!
As to the job search…😁 I love job searching. I think if you want to stay in Denver, you should keep your search narrowed down to that area. Unless remote work is something you want, and there is so much more of that these days. Maybe the bigger question is do you want something that makes you leave the house, or something that has flexibility? And, as someone mentioned, volunteering could be an option. My action suggestion is to set aside part of each day for job searching and application. Like you do for exercise or meditation or writing. Its amazing how much time searching and applying can take.
You are the first person I’ve heard to say that they love job searching! I wish I could adopt that attitude, but I’m just a bundle of nerves when I think about doing it.
I love your suggestions though and I so so so appreciate your support and enthusiasm. I’d shrivel up in a corner without it. Thank you!!!
I need my tribe and I need purposeful work (that it pays would be a great bonus). I just want a challenge with people I like spending time with. If I were on my own, I’d consider joining a coworking/coliving arrangement I think… But hoping post covid the lack of social interaction will cure me feeling that there is little purpose in life. I’ve got something to look forward to, which is seeing my family. What are you looking forward to? It seems we need to define purpose/search for our meaning. Or it could just be that not busy enough and now have too much time for thinking lol
Oh man, you hit the nail on the head. I feel like I have nothing to look forward to right now and that’s why my funk is so deep. I can only see my family over video calls and it’s so hard not having anything on the calendar to look forward to. No trips planned and no parties to attend. I’m also afraid to date right now because meeting strangers doesn’t seem like a good idea.
It was easy to fill my days when it was just the mornings and afternoons I had to be by myself. I used to have plans every single night. Now I have way too much time on my own to think about everything and it’s a little bit torturous.
I found this really cool alarm clock Loftie: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/sleep-better-with-loftie/x/18057863#/
It’s meant to replace your phone. I have turned off my phone alarm for the time being and just wake up without one as I’m not working during this crazy time.
Setting an alarm is the resolution I’m least excited about, so I appreciate the recommendation. I love just waking up when my body wants me to.
Thanks for the recommendation on the alarm. It looks like it hasn’t been made yet though and is only in the kickstarter phase. Interesting idea!
Reading through these suggestions, it appears that you should apply for a job herding reindeer in siberia. That would spice up this blog. But your blog is already pretty spicy.
I joined a writing club this year, they all submit short stories once a month and comment on them and vote for the best one, it is pretty gratifying and motivating (albeit once a month).
Oh, I love that idea! Where did you find your writing club? I used to go to one in person through meetup.com, but obviously that’s on hold now.
I also love the idea of herding reindeer in Siberia. I think a change of scenery would be good for me.
I was in line at the movies and over-heard two people discussing a writing club. Then a dark figure accosted the couple and the next thing I know I’m sprinting through the parking lot to rescue the man’s purse. I was about 2 strides short of the thief when a giant dog took him down but made off with the woman’s wallet. So I continued the chase all the way to the public library, and walked in on a group of writer’s who were advertising their club on a notice pinned to the lobby. I was just in time for snacks. Now they only meet by zoom however.
Hahaha. What a wild ride that was! Did you ever catch the dog?
Nah, if I were a better writer I would have mentioned the couple were at the meeting to reunite with their puppy.. but these errors are why I joined the club in the first place.
Hi Thriftygal,
This is my first time commenting but I discovered your blog several years ago and can relate to you in a lot of ways. I recently started a blog (cultivatingmorehappiness.com) and wish I could be half as hilarious as you are! I love your resolutions charts; you include many things I am working on so it is great to get your ideas.
I’m sorry to hear it has been a tough stretch for you lately. Looking for a new job is an intriguing idea. I was in the same boat, having only found jobs through campus recruiting – until my current job. I did a ton on LinkedIn, searching keywords of my interest areas + my school names, in the hopes that a fellow alum would be willing to talk with me. I was amazed by how many people were willing to do informational chats and I discovered a lot of cool things out there.
Journaling, exercise and meditation have been key tools for me in getting out of a funk so I am glad these are on your list already. Do you know about dharmaseed.org? Those podcasts are really helpful for me when I’m going through a hard time. My favorite teachers are Tara Brach, Mark Coleman and Jack Kornfield. I listen to them on long walks and it’s very uplifting. Sending you good vibes!
Thank you for commenting and I love the name of your blog!
I logged onto LinkedIn a few days ago for the first time in years and it was very daunting. That world still says I’m a lawyer in Australia, so I definitely need to update it! I’ve been told that’s one of the best sites to look for a job. I didn’t even realize they posted openings there.
I’ve never heard of dharmaseed.org, but it sounds like it’s up my alley. Thanks!!
As always, thank you for your honesty Thriftygal. I think human beings need to feel valued and engaged in helping others in some way to truly have meaning in life. To just have your physical needs (food, shelter, money) met is not enough. I see so many successful people who retire with all the money they’ll ever need and struggle with how to bring meaning to their lives, including my own parents. Kids are not enough imho because those eventually grow up and leave, so you still have to learn to re-invent yourself then. As others mentioned, I would start by volunteering for a cause that’s important to you. Among other things, it’ll expand your network and update your skills (if needed), both of which will help in getting you a job in the long run. I would also recommend the classic “what color is your parachute” book which has a super comprehensive approach to job hunting, especially for people trying to change careers or w an unconventional path like you.
I would also urge you to still try to publish, too, and just in general cut yourself a break on the quality of your writing. Your blog is so wonderful, among other reasons because of your honesty. There’s a famous quote by Ira Glass, who created “This American Life,” that basically says that when you first try to create art of any kind (painting, writing, etc), it takes years to get to the level that you yourself appreciate as good, so you have to push yourself through a really long time even though everything in you tells you, you suck. But if you refuse to listen to your inner voice and just trust the process, you will eventually reach what to you is good. Please stay at it! Best of luck! 🙂
I do remember What Color is Your Parachute. Thanks for the recommendation. I put it on my library list! (The suburban Denver libraries are now open for curbside pickup! Small graces).
And I so appreciate your words on publishing. You’re absolutely right and it’s exactly what I needed to remember and hear. Thank you!!
You are such a gifted writer, and whenever I see your post scrolling through my email you are the first thing I read… Please do not stop! I love what you write about, I love your honesty, and I cannot tell you how many times I have referred people to your blog, or forwarded this email to others. I have also appreciated your recommendations, such as Vanguard, JR Collins, and your insight on investing. I love that you have goals and resolutions, and I cannot wait to read About your next adventure… Take care, stay well, and virtually hug your family, because I feel like I know them too 🙂
You are incredibly kind to say all these nice things to me. I’ve been having a rough week and really needed to read this. Thank you!!
Hey Thriftygal!
Thank you for sharing your resolutions again. 🙂 I’ll be honest, I was a tad sad that you didn’t post an April update because I did really well on mine! Of course, it all hit the fan this month because I started teacher classes and I now have a lot on my plate. It’s actually part of a career transition I’m making, so I’m looking forward to hearing about your job search too. All my jobs have been through people I know somehow, so I would start putting feelers out in that way. School has put me in touch with a community again, and I’m grateful for that. I hope you can find one in work too!
Do you journal by hand? I’ve been meaning to start journalling habit. I’ve been doing my meditations on the balcony in the sun, so maybe I’ll bring out a pen and some paper as well. And if you’re looking for more friction in jumping on the internet, one of my friends unplugs her router at night.
Good luck Thriftygal! 🍀 Cheering you on from my little apartment!
I’m so proud of you for doing well on April’s resolution! Halfway through that month, I just gave up completely and didn’t even try for May.
I have a one sentence journal that I write by hand. My 750 words though, I do on the computer. I know the book that recommends the morning papers says to do it by hand, but I prefer typing.
I appreciate your cheers very much!!
Hi there. I think it is exciting that you want to look for something like a job. It could be volunteer legal work for a cause, environmental action or something else you find. I found volunteer work a great way to meet people with a heart. I’ve secretly been waiting to see if you would want to do something more purposeful or connected to your skills than cooking, which doesn’t seem to fit. Of course I would give you candy because you are young and attractive but, not near so that’s out. Find a social cause even just for a couple months is my wisdom for you. Take care and seek visions by any means… pot is ok too at times.
I’ve been doing volunteer work, but I want something a little more substantial. Thanks for the comment.
Hi Thrifty Gal. Lovely to see that you’re back. Sorry to hear that you are having a hard time these last few weeks. I just want to leave 2 comments:
1. Can you please put “posting more often on my blog” as one of your resolutions some upcoming month? It really makes my day when I pop onto your site and see a new post. Based on the comments I’ve read today, others feel the same.
and
2. You’re not the only one drifting. I left paid work life in March 2018. It was not particularly well planned – I saw a window of opportunity and I grabbed it. No regrets. But it meant that I hadn’t done much mental preparation for what I would do with myself afterwards. Result: a lot of floundering.
To give myself some breathing/planning time, I signed up to be an English Teaching Assistant in Spain. Key takeaways: I don’t want to be an ESL teacher and I don’t want to live in Spain.
And while I love the idea of herding reindeer (although I would choose to be in Norway over Siberia), like you I’m longing to have a pantry and a proper kitchen.
Anyhow, this pandemic has blown up my post-Spain plans so here I am, homeless in Toronto. (I do have a place to live, I just don’t have a ‘home’).
I keep reminding myself that getting to FI was a journey so figuring out FI should also be a journey.
Anyways, I’ve written all that simply to demonstrate that you are not the only one that is in drifting mode. Maybe we can start an online club for drifters?
I was also part of a writing club through our public library (Toronto Public Library rocks!) but alas it got hijacked and I no longer felt comfortable presenting my work there. I’d be up for joining and on-line writing club. Let’s do it!
Take care.
Thanks for the excellent comment. I had a friend try living in Spain after retiring and she too realized pretty quickly it wasn’t for her. I agree with you that figuring out how to live during FI is a journey in and of itself.
I’ll definitely try to post more! I’m thinking of cannibalizing some of my books for posts.
Let me have a think about the online writing club and how it would work. I like the idea, but I hate responsibility and being “host” if that makes sense!
I didn’t intend to dump hosting responsibilities onto you. I’ll also give some thought to how an on-line writing club could work. I’ll get back to you.
Awesome! Looking forward to it!
I’m so sorry that you’ve been having a rough week. Are you able to meet up with any of your friends for walks or outdoor gatherings? That’s been helping me lately.
I genuinely look forward to reading each of your new posts. You’re one of the few bloggers that I follow closely. I admire your honesty and openness in sharing your struggles. Please keep writing!
I hadn’t been doing any walks, but realized that was really bad for my mental health, so I’m back on this wagon with enthusiasm. Walks with one other person are still okay, right?
Thanks for the enthusiasm. I do appreciate it.
I do think walks with one person are perfectly ok! I’ve also started meeting up with a small group of friends for weekly outdoor gatherings.
That sounds great. I’m so jealous. I miss parties and trips and dating. All things I don’t feel comfortable doing.
How small is your group of friends?
There are six of us. We were all classmates in the same pottery class before the pandemic. This past weekend our instructor and his wife joined us.
Six people is a party. I’m jealous for sure. I want to party.
I’m really enjoying following your story. If you’re interested in federal service, try scouring usajob.gov. Government work isn’t always a great fit for everyone, but I do find a lot of meaning in my work. Maybe try to get a government internship first to see if it’s a good fit?
Thanks! I’ll put that on my list of websites to peruse!
Would you be willing to put your legal education to volunteer or nonprofit service? That’s a skill set you have that might be hard for nonprofits to come by. Even serving on a board or committee for a local nonprofit as an attorney brings many benefits to the organization.
This is great and I’m glad to see you back in healthy routines!
I love the idea of serving on boards. Thanks for the suggestion I’m going to add to my list!
Re jobs: pick a company or two whose values align with yours. Go on line. Fill out an application. Send it in. I did that three years ago and ended up working for Apple in the floor selling tech. Second “sales” job in my life after a career in journalism and comms. Discovered I really like talking to and helping people (along with learning). 👍
That is pretty much my plan! Thanks for the encouragement!!
Anita, long time reader of your blog and you got me to start tracking my net worth so many thanks for that. Like others, I find your honesty so refreshing and brave, especially this time about being lonely. How do you handle your loneliness — any tips? Comments from readers here are also usually good so how are people handling their loneliness. It’s tough not to have anything to plan/look forward to or an outlet since even if you do go out, there is a sense of anxiety of being exposed to the virus. Glad you mentioned about stopping dating too…I see a few deactivated accounts and I wonder if that is the reason…
Oh man, I wish I had an answer for you. I’m not handling my loneliness well, I’m afraid. I cry every day and wonder how to get through this. I’m working on an article on it, but so far, I don’t really know.
What to look forward to? In a Quixotic sense, there are ’em so called wind-mills. They are by definition much bigger than they appear. And in a Joycean sense, the word that all men know. There is nothing more beautiful than beholding yourself in someone else’s eyes. And…
I never understand what you say