Hi guys, how you going? That’s how Australians say “how are you” and not poor grammar on my part. It’s time for the only post you really care about! I’m updating my chart for the first third of 2017! Whee! I check in with my financial avatar three times a year, making sure she hasn’t started taking drugs or dating an undesirable thug. She’s an angel, so I’m not sure why I worry.
Here’s where I stood at the end of 2016.
I add up all my expenses for the last four months and divide it by four and then plot that number as a red dot on the chart. Then I look at all my checking and investment accounts and add up all those numbers, calculating my net worth. I take that number and multiply it by my theoretical withdrawal rate (4%) and divide by twelve to get my theoretical monthly projected passive income. Finally, I mark that number on my chart as a green data point.
If the green line is higher than the red line, I smile evilly. My diabolical plan is working! I have enough money to be happy. I can continue to live my life on my own terms and shrug at the naysayers. The audacity!
If the green line is lower than the red line, well, we’re in a bull market so I haven’t encountered that scenario since retiring. It’s easy to be calm and collected when the market is up. We’ll see how well I smile when the pendulum swings back and the bear is in control. I try not to think about it much.
But when I do, I remind myself that they are just numbers on a screen. I would take out such a small percentage, it should be okay. Also, I can always alter my extravagant lifestyle. Or start working again. Maybe my book will sell a few copies. I’m not worried. That’s easy to say when things are happy.
Ok, here’s the updated chart.
The red line is lower than the green line so far in 2017, so the evil smile remains. I spent time wandering around the Middle East, Guatemala and the United States. But that’s not the reason my expenses dot is so high-ish. I’ve spent some money on my book. I should take that amount out and put it under a different “business” chart or something. Maybe I’ll do that the next time I update.
The green line kept its head held high. My net worth increased by more than $40k in the past four months. Which is ridiculous. Most of that, of course, came from investments. I’m still living on cash and haven’t touched my VTSAX yet. I predict I’ll need to tap into it by the end of the year though.
$219.70 came from my blog. That’s a disheartening low number, but I’m not surprised. I’m a terrible blogger. I never check my stats. My website is ugly. I do zero networking and do a poor job connecting with you, my reader, when you email me. I’m sorry. I hate emailing. I don’t post regularly*. What I do post is often narcissistic drivel.
It’s all good.
I have enough money to be happy and everything else is just gravy. Vegetarian gravy. Spicy vegetarian gravy. I love my life. Not a day goes by that I don’t feel so very lucky to be living it. When I was working, weeks would pass where I wouldn’t experience that feeling of joy. I keep a daily journal, so I know. The difference in tone is stark. Now a permanent evil smile adorns my face. I feel like I’m getting away with something. Am I allowed to be this happy?
*P.S. Sorry about my lack of posting recently. I’m busy with a couple of different operations right now. Operation Enjoy the Crap Out of Life takes up most of my time. I try to go out and interact with the world every day. Operation Finish Your Stupid Book, Gosh Darn It takes up the rest of my time. That one is pretty self-explanatory, I think. I’ll tell you more about it in a bit in another post that’s sure to be narcissistic drivel.