Before you ask, no, I’m not currently using any of these methods to get over anyone in particular. I am living the life I’ve always wanted to live with all my city and country hopping, but I have yet to figure out how dating fits into this new world order. I’m happy 90% of the time, which is a solid “A” and, oddly enough, the highest percentage I have ever sustained for this long. Perhaps it’s because I don’t have a current heartache to nurse that I’m so content?
Regardless, since I didn’t have anything substantive ready for today, I thought you would enjoy this list that I’ve cultivated over the years. My apologies if I was wrong.
Thriftygal’s List of Ways to Get Over Someone
- Write a list of things you dislike about that person.
- Throw away your list of things you love about that person.
- You’ll regret number two in a few years, but it’ll help now. And now is more important than a few years from now. At least for these purposes.
- Go out and do things. All the things.
- Yoga. Lots of yoga and Pilates. Look as good as you want to feel.
- Flirt. Smile at that guy over there. I bet he’ll come over and talk to you.
- Cry. Mourn.
- Go to therapy to work on your bigger life problems.
- Put “be over whatshisface” on your “Someday list” and cross it off triumphantly when you’re ready.
- Write a future email to yourself asking if you’re over him yet. Send it far enough into the future where you know the answer will be unequivocally yes.
- Throw self off cliff; start life anew as a water buffalo or a tomato. I would make such a good tomato.
Disclaimer: Taking relationship advice from me is a really terrible idea.